• Mon, Jun 17 - 1:05 pm ET

8 Things I Learned About Rich People From The Wolf Of Wall Street Trailer

Wolf Of Wall Street Trailer

If you saw The Great Gatsby and just couldn’t get enough of Leonardo DiCaprio and his side-part, you are literally the luckiest person alive right now because they are both in his new movie The Wolf Of Wall Street. He plays a wealthy Wall Street hotshot alongside Jonah Hill and Matthew McConaughey, who also play rich guys. I’m not sure if I gathered this correctly but I’m pretty sure that they’re nowhere near as rich as Leo’s character is and I bet that’s something that they find so unfair.

I know the feeling because I have no idea how it feels to be loaded, as I am neither the movie star nor BFF to Britney Spears that I thought I’d be by now and I’m definitely not the unscrupulous stockbroker that they are. So I really depend on things like this movie’s new trailer to get a peek into the fun (and insane) life of a rich person. Here are 8 things that I can add to my list of things that I know about it, right under the fact that rehab isn’t always for everyone.

1. Kanye West’s music perfectly encapsulates their (very first-world) problems.

2. They often shout into microphones. This happens two separate times in this two-minute trailer, so it’s safe to say that’s a major plot point.

3. Pronouncing words properly is for people who can’t afford to have three-martini lunches.

4. Taping huge stacks of cash to a woman’s very naked body is totally commonplace.

5. Also, bank accounts aren’t nearly as necessary as I’d originally thought they were.

6. They only ever wear business attire (unless they’re on their yachts, then it’s all-white all the way!)

7. 100 dollar bills have many uses, like as paper balls to play trashcan basketball with.

8. They partake in “Bring Your Monkey To Work” day!

Here’s the official trailer, full of fun-looking things that are not only very expensive, but also acquired illegally! Can you tell that I’m excited for this movie to come out?

You can reach this post's author, Olivia Wilson, on twitter.
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  • Jill O’Rourke

    Is Leonardo DiCaprio required to hold up a glass and smile in every movie he’s in?

    • Jenni

      Yes. I’m sure if we search hard enough we’ll find him doing it in a clip from Growing Pains

    • Olivia Wilson

      “Leo, stop trying to make smiling-while-raising-your-glass happen. It’s not going to happen!” – Regina George

  • J

    Ah whoa there you forgot to mention that you learned that leo can apparently fucking dance. 2:13

    • Jenni

      We already knew that from his third-class jig in Titanic.

    • Olivia Wilson

      He does do a delightful little jellyfish wiggle, doesn’t he?