Since I’ve always thought Bill Compton was basically a woman in every other True Blood season, it’s fitting that he is renamed “Billith” (a mixture of Bill and Lillith) in this week’s season six premiere. The new, “improved” Bill is a blood-covered monster who chases Eric Northman and Sookie Stackhouse out of the Vampire Authority building in the beginning of the episode. They barely escape him by driving off in a SUV with Pam, Tara, Jason, Jessica, and Nora. The new Billith can start fires and move objects with his eyes, pull a wooden stake out of his heart, shake the ground, and compare herself to a civil war general who burned down parts of Georgia and the Carolinas. I actually respect Billith more than I ever did Bill. Billith isn’t as whiny or sappy when it comes to his relationship with Sookie. Maybe now that Bill is Billith and Eric is busy trying to find Billith’s weakness, Sookie can finally have a normal, boring human life. Not a chance.
Unfortunately Sookie, played by Anna Paquin, will have a lot of baby showers to attend considering both Sam Merlotte and Andy Bellefleur are new dads. Sam takes in Luna Garza’s wolf daughter, Emma, and Andy gets stuck with three, abandoned half-fairy babies, trying his best to comfort them:
Andy: “I’m Sheriff Andy Bellefleur, and I’m gonna be your daddy.”
Considering Andy is an on-again, off-again V addict, this shouldn’t comfort anyone.
Luckily for Emma she gets left with a potentially good father figure and doesn’t seem to miss her dead mom all that much. After Emma witnesses her shifter mom bleed all over the place, she only seems concerned with eating dinner:
Emma: “My mommy died, and I’m hungry.
Thank, Billith, for Lafayette Reynolds, who has been guarding Merlotte’s with a shotgun and one of his go-to crop tops. He knows exactly what to do with a freshly orphaned child. French fries and hair braids will make anyone feel better, especially if they had just watched their mom die ten minutes earlier.
Billith tries to convince his progeny, Jessica, that he’s not evil and just has some minor improvements. I wouldn’t call a sex change minor, Billith. Jessica and Bill have girl time and pillow talk over the supposedly last cup of true blood. I like this Billith. She’s feisty, but still approachable. But things take a turn for the worse when three naked, blood soaked women invade Billith’s body. Huh? Bill was barely able to handle being Billith! What will happen now Bill has three new ladies trying to take over his body? Only time will tell. Let’s hope Eric doesn’t find a way to destroy the improved Bill. Eric is probably too busy with Ellen Page anyway. Good. I like having my girl, Billith, around.