Johnny Depp Just Got Trampled By A Horse, No Big Deal

Johnny Depp in behind the scenes featurette for The Lone RangerJohnny Depp just definitively proved that horses hate racism. Stop, wait. Yes, I will explain that sentence, but let’s all allow it to marinate for a minute first, because it’s a sentence I didn’t think I would ever say. It’s just that I was watching this behind-the-scenes featurette for The Lone Ranger just now, and it’s chock full of anti-human, or at least anti-racist sentiment. There have always been rumors and whispers (and full-on shouts) that this movie is gonna be racist towards Native Americans, but this is the first time I’ve seen a horse get involved in the debate. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s the first time I’ve seen a horse get involved in any debate.

Around the 1:06 minute mark in this clip, Johnny falls off the horse he’s riding, and his mount takes that opportunity to stomp one out for its homies who couldn’t be there. Johnny is only under the horse for a couple seconds, silly hair-feather and all, but he comes out of it with a horseshoe shaped bruise on his stomach. Is there any clearer way for an animal to say, “You and your movie are being disrespectful to the indigenous population, bigshot”? I think not.

Seriously though, if you want to experience the sensation of an entire film set panicking at once, watch this clip. Johnny hits the ground, and it’s like a bomb goes off. Everyone is immediately like, “Oh no no no no no no no. Not today! Not like this!” And I mean, I get it. This guy is easily the most valuable actor in the film. Everything relies on him. He’s the Faberge egg of this production, and they needs must be very careful with him in the future that he doesn’t fall out of his decorative China display case. They dodged a major bullet that he wasn’t more seriously hurt on-set. I guess they’re lucky he only had one feather in his hair instead of a full headdress — if it’d been the latter option, I don’t know if that horse would’ve been able to restrain his fury.

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