OMG! Did you think that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart broke up? That’s like so, so cute of you. I bet you read that somewhere. Oh here? I am sorry about that. We must’ve gotten hacked. We never would’ve said these two lovebirds broke up when they’re very clearly still sharing the same white undershirt. Just like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, they’re destined to be together forever and ever and ever. Just note that “ever and ever and ever” in Hollywood means something different than it does where you’re from. It usually signifies a period of around two weeks to seven years.
How do we know they’re still madly in love. Um, an eyewitnesss saw them holding hands and immediately called the press and was like “you’ll never believe what I just saw!” and the press is like “no you didn’t” and the eyewitness is like “yeah I did” and the press is like “do you have photos” and the eyewitness is like “I respect the privacy of these stars, so um, no. Don’t be rude man.”
You know what people also hold in hands besides other hands? Pregnancy tests. So it’s not really that much of a stretch to go from them holding hands to them holding on to their glory years by having a baby together. Can you say press forever? While our resident podiatrist doesn’t feel comfortable weighing in on her pregnancy right now, we feel pretty confident over here at Crushable HQ that we’re onto something big.
Can’t you just picture them having a baby together. A tiny, sullen little thing who wears nothing but backwards hats and flannel shirts from thrift stores and angry glares. Oooo I can picture the happy family now. The People spread in the nursery with Kristen hiding behind a rocking chair and Rob preparing to not bathe the baby and the baby just giving off an adorable lil stink eye. I’m growing a Baby Gap outlet in my belly just thinking about it.
Fingers crossed that my pregnancy instincts are right on for this one. Just kidding. It’s a waste of a finger crossing when you know it’s the truth. Let the countdown to the most anticipated fan fiction baby of the year begin!
(Photo: Twilight Saga)