While you walked around yesterday wearing a pair of pants that did not undergo construction, Miley Cyrus showed off this absolutely stunning outfit. From the Channing training bra to the business-very-casual pants to the red stilettos, it screams perfection. If a fashionista-festishist-murderer broke into my apartment, cut the electricity, put a gun to my head, told me to cut all my clothes in half and then sew some of them back together all while blindfolded, I couldn’t have done a better job. I’m not being modest ladies, I’m just being honest.
Day after day after day, Miley Cyrus continues to redefine the word fashion. Just yesterday I believed that you didn’t wear shirts with other people’s names on them. Especially when it’s the very unique name of a very married man. But, hey, grab that outdated rule, crumple it up and just toss it out the window. Oh and while you’re over there, see if my package arrived. I just ordered a shirt that says Eggenschwiler on it. I want to cut it in thirds and wear it out tonight. In addition I’m cutting one leg off of my fall jeggings and cutting one leg of my racing horse and then stapling them together to make a new pair of pants. Finally I’ll pair it all with my brand new heels that I just bought on Youwillnotbeabletowalkinthese.com.
Before you even say it, I know. I’ll look fabulous. And by the time I come home I’ll look outdated. Who knows what Miley will have come with by then. Maybe backward skorts? Shirts without anyplace to put your arms? Hats that you wear on you knees? Just thinking about the possibilities exhausts me. So with that in mind, I hope she makes wearing sleeping masks in public trendy.