Do you like middle-aged people things like wearing mom jeans and not knowing how to work your iPhone? Because if so, you’re going to love the new Jonas Brothers single ‘First Time’, off their upcoming album Pom Poms (which totally means ‘boobs’, by the way, at least according to Joe Jonas). If you don’t love either of those things and you aren’t over the age of thirty-five, I am sorry to report that you will have nothing in common with enjoyers of this music, whoever they are.
Obviously I’m not a doctor or the social anthropologist that I fancy myself to be, but my rule of thumb is pretty much — decide how I feel about something, and then create a blanket statement that allows me to apportion my own opinion to anyone and everyone around me. It’s worked out really well for me so far; it’s why no one ever yells at me in the comment section of my posts about Taylor Swift or anything. Everything’s going great.
Apparently not realizing that the song is available on Just Jared, the boys have continued hyping it up on Twitter, inviting their fans to a live chat and the song’s reveal on June 17th.
— Jonas Brothers (@JonasBrothers) June 12, 2013
But if you don’t want to wait until Monday to be completely and utterly underwhelmed, feel free to listen to it in advance. Just make sure you bring your muu muu and house slippers so you can go right back to watching your soaps afterward. Yeah, it’s that boring.