Celebrity friendships are endlessly fascinating for me. I imagine that stars have some sort of famous-person radar that leads them to the nearest fellow star wherever they are, and even if they’ve never met before, they start talking as if they go way way back to their fancy prep school days. I think this whenever I see two mismatched celebrities run up to each other during the Golden Globes commercial breaks as if they’ve finally been reunited at the end of a Lifetime movie. And sometimes I hear about celebrity friendships and they make total and complete and perfect sense to me. Like Taylor Swift and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Over the weekend, Taylor was in London to perform at Capital Summertime Ball at Wembley Stadium. And what is Taylor Swift to do during her off-time in London? Visit Gwyneth Paltrow, of course! Forget Taylor’s friendship with Lena Dunham, and forget Gwynnie’s airplane bottle episode with Demi Lovato. This is a Hollywood friendship I can get behind. Whenever I finish reading interviews from either of these two, my mouth is full of flies and dust and any other things that wandered in there during five minutes of uninterrupted gaping. They’re perfect for each other. I imagine a conversation between them involves a lot of “Oh my God, me too!” uttered over and over again over herbal tea in matching Tiffany-blue teacups. Taylor eats a plate of tiny tiny cookies, and Gwyneth enjoys a bowl of room-temperature air.
Taylor: “Oh my God, you like to act goofy sometimes so people think you’re really fun? Me too!”
Gwyneth: “Oh my God, you like to make ‘little ol’ me’ face? ‘Little ol’ me’ face is my favorite face to make!”
Taylor: “Oh my God, you’re in a relationship with a British guy? Me too… I mean I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Gwyneth: “Oh my God, let’s talk about pubic hair. You must like to talk about pubic hair, too. Right? Right….?”
So sometimes those two might be a little awkward, because every friendship involves some sort of opposites-attract kind of thing. One of them enjoys a nice gabfest about hair down there, and the other prefers not to do that. I’m still hoping for some kind of Oprah-Gayle-type TV show or something. “You get an organic produce basket! And you get an organic produce basket! And you get an organic produce basket!”