Did you remember that Penn Badgley and Zoe Kravitz were dating? You did? Well good for you, your brain canals are stronger than mine are! But the joke’s on you, because they just broke up, ergo I no longer need to store any qualifying details about them as a couple, like the fact that they started dating in the summer of 2011 and have thus been together just over two years, during which time they shared an apartment together in New York City! You don’t need to remember any of that! In fact, go back in time and un-read this sentence, because the repetition will just lodge it more tightly in your brainhead, and we don’t want that. This will be the first time I’ve utilized the time machine I built, and I can think of no better use for it than for going back to the beginning of an article. HERE WE GO!
Oh. Hello there. I’ve just alighted in a world where I’m about to start writing this post, except I can see from the text that I’m already significantly into it. That’s confusing, but I won’t spend any time noodling on it. Instead I’ll tell you about this breakup I just heard about, between that Penn guy from Gossip Girl and that Zoe girl from Lenny Kravitz‘s loins. They made their final public appearance together at the New York Warm Bodies screening in January, and have recently ended things on ‘good terms’ due to the lack of overlap in their busy schedules. I predict that Zoe will go back to doing projects that I’ve only vaguely heard of, and Penn will return to his dedicated attempt to emulate homelessness in his general appearance and demeanor. God speed, you crazy kids…sorry that I don’t remember more about your relationship, but my mind appears to be erasing itself. Best of luck with everything, Ping and Zog! I believe in you!
(Image: Felipe Ramales / Pacific Coast News)