So last week I watched the series premiere of Princesses: Long Island and determined that it wasn’t nearly as offensive as I thought it would be. Well someone grab me a fork because I’m about to eat my words. This week Chantal Omari invited her friends out to a house in the Hamptons to show them what Shabbat is really about. (Spoiler: it’s about the Hamptons. That’s the promised land!) While the Real Housewives usually save their super-fun-but-not-at-all vacations for mid-season, I guess Bravo decided to push the drama up a notch much earlier on in this game. Mostly because it’s a lot more fun to watch people yell and scream at each other when you know they have nowhere to run off to after they say heinous things to each other’s faces.
But before we get to scream n’ shout sesh, let’s talk Shabbat. While it’s a weekly holiday that’s not observed by many Jews, it still deserves a modicum of respect. And if they’re not going to respect it, they shouldn’t show it. I would file “using it as an excuse to get all the girls together in one place” under not okay. It’s Bravo. They rarely need a valid reason for people who hate each other to get together. So I’m not sure why they pretended like they needed to celebrate Shabbat this week. But whatever, I guess they did ruin many a child’s event on RHONJ over the years for the sake of drama. I suppose I can’t act that upset. I just wanted to rewrite my record and state that yes, this show’s offensive for Jews. And for people who pay rent. And fetch their own hairbrushes from their own bathrooms.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s talk about the draaamaaaaa. So Casey Cohen (the token city girl) used to date this totally swell guy back in high school. But then right before prom, Erica Gimbel stole him from her and ruined her life. Yes ten years later, Casey Cohen’s still reduced to tears thinking about this moment. Think about something that made you upset 10 years ago. Odds are you feel pretty stupid now for getting so angry that you wrote a public Livejournal entry that you subtly pasted in your away message. Odds are also high you wrote that entry while listening to Dashboard Confessional and thinking to yourself that these guys really get what you’re going through right now. Odds are highest that if for some reason this incident still bothered you that you wouldn’t purposefully stay in a house with that person.
However reality TV operates under the idea that people are just constantly putting themselves in horrible situations. “Oh that person I hate will be at that dinner party, sign me up. And put me at her table. Actually put me on her lap.” Therefore it does make sense that Casey goes to Shabbat dinner and then proceeds to be a heinous bitch to Erica. In the middle of Erica telling a story at dinner, Casey just starts yelling at her to stop talking. Oh did I mention that reality TV also operates under the idea that once you’re a victim, you’re always a victim. Therefore Casey can say whatever she wants to Erica without fear of being in the wrong. Obviously Erica doesn’t take this well and both girls (I’m sorry, not girls, adult women) end the episode sobbing. Sidenote: Ashlee White’s also reduced to tears in the house when she finds stains on her sheets and call her mother to complain and say “I love you and I’m throwing up right now” — a saying that I know obviously want on a t-shirt.
Oh and don’t worry. Next week’s episode picks up right where this one left off. So we get to see how long the ladies cried and how long Casey can still keep acting like her high school boyfriend meant anything in the grand scheme of things.
(Photos: Bravo TV)