Oh, Rihanna. Your antics never fail to confuse me. If you aren’t getting inexplicable tattoos over every inch of your body or reuniting with Chris Brown for the fourteenth time, you’re mounting actual audience members at your own show and giving them a tasteful lap dance onstage. OH YEAH GUYS, THAT HAPPENED. You know how it is: you’re in the front row at your favorite musical act’s show, and suddenly you’re onstage and said musical act is gyrating on your junk. That’s a thing that happens, right?
And like, this was not Rihanna phoning it in. She didn’t just bring some contest winner onstage and jiggle around in front of him or something. She was ON this guy. Like professional lap dance status. Fully on top of him, straddling him, grinding her lady parts on his man parts. Everything. She even takes his hand at one point and runs it down her body. Damn girl. Not your first time at the rodeo. Seriously though, watch the video. It’s…oddly intense. Like it’s almost hard to watch, because she is really doing the damn thing.