The trailer for the new movie Getaway is out (if you watched the new season of Arrested Development, you probably have a certain song stuck in your head now, you’re welcome for that), and there’s something very odd about it. That something is the presence of Selena Gomez. It’s not her presence in general. I know she’s an actress and she’s likely to be in movies. It’s the role she’s playing. Let’s just say it fits her about as well as her on-again-off-again boyfriend Justin Bieber’s pants fit him.
Ethan Hawke continues his monopoly over 2013 movies as a man whose wife has been kidnapped. He has to follow the kidnapper’s instructions in order to get her back. According to the trailer, those instructions are, “Drive.” A few car chases later, a wrench is thrown in Ethan’s plans when a carjacker inconveniently whips open the car door (Why wasn’t it locked, Ethan Hawke?) and points a gun at him. Road trip!
I’m sure they’ll end up developing a friendship and he’ll probably adopt her or something, but can we please talk about the fact that Selena Gomez is playing a carjacker? Even Ethan Hawke, when she opens the door, doesn’t really look that scared. He’s all, “Ugh this is such an inconvenience while I try to save my wife by crashing into every cop car I see.” Sure, she’s got the requisite hoodie over the baseball cap look, but she just looks so sweet and innocent, and her hair is perfectly combed, even after she takes her hat off. I understand she wants to break out of her good girl image and take on edgier roles, but I’m just not buying it. It doesn’t seem to have worked for Spring Breakers, and I don’t think it’s working here. I just keep expecting her to offer the kidnapper some homemade cookies as ransom.
So I’m sorry Selena, but I’m just not believing it. I love that you’re challenging yourself, but it’s not having much of an effect on me. I still like you, though. Which I’m sure is the ultimate consolation prize.