Well, well, well, what do we have here? Liam Hemsworth not only signed up for Twitter last night, but he also started following Miley Cyrus. Yes that Miley Cyrus. The very woman who he recently broke up with for reasons that allegedly included “sharing too much personal information on Twitter.” Is this move a low blow toward Miley or is it his attempt to apologize for making her send her ring to the dry cleaners…forever? Considering that she’s one of the very select 13 people that he’s following, we have no doubt that this move means something. In fact, it probably means everything! Benghazi answers, here we come.
We met with our team of med school drop-outs, foreign lawyers, psychoanalysts, unlicensed ob-gyns and celebrity insiders late last night to discuss this very situation. (And yes, all these people are available to speak with you at any time of the day! What makes them so wonderful for quotes is that they never insist on actually speaking to the celebrities involved. They instead prefer to base their opinions on photos and hearsay.) After hours of debating back and forth as to the possible reasons behind Liam’s foray into the world of Twitter, we’ve come up with five possibilities.
1. He’s promoting his upcoming movies Paranoia and Catching Fire. While this reason’s the most boring, it would explain why he chose to follow both of them on Twitter. However he’s also following Twitter on Twitter, so he might just be following things that sound familiar to him. Such as Thor and Miley Cyrus.
2. Up until yesterday he assumed Twitter was a code name for a club drug that Miley Cyrus did. For years he assumed that many of his co-workers used the same drug — and he looked down upon them for talking about it so openly in the media. Once someone sat him down and explained that it’s actually a fun way for celebrities (and their publicity team) to interact with their fans, he said “well didgeridoo kangaroo in the outback, sign me up!”
3. He’s showing Miley that you can be on Twitter and not share intimate details of your life. So far, so good. Despite being on there for almost a full day, he has yet to tell us anything of value. Like seriously, we’ve learned NOTHING about him. So I guess if this is his goal, he can consider it accomplished.
4. His publicist begged him to please follow Miley Cyrus so that people wouldn’t turn his Twitter debut into something that it’s not — such as a thinly veiled attempt to get back at Miley by only signing up for it after he broke her heart. Sorry Mr. Publicist, we’re still going to make this today’s TOP news story. Once my good friends at CNN reads this article, it will be everywhere. EVERYWHERE I TELL YA!
5. Miley actually created this Twitter account to exact revenge on him for not trying to twerk things out. She’s only just gotten started. MWAHAHAHA.
6. He’s currently unaware the people can see who you follow. Just because he doesn’t want to marry her, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to stalk her! Celebrities, they truly are just like us!