One of the most important moments in a celebrity’s life cycle is the moment they unveil a wax figure of themselves. It’s celebrities’ way of fulfilling their subconscious (sometimes very conscious) desire to clone themselves. And have you seen those wax figures? They’re so convincing, sometimes I see a picture of Angelina Jolie or Kim Kardashian and I think it’s a picture of their wax figure. You can never be entirely sure unless they’re moving. In Sofia Vergara’s case, however, her figures (yes, she got two) did more than just look like her. They also mimicked real events in Sofia’s life. Namely, her penchant for wardrobe malfunctions.
Sofia has more than one noteworthy wardrobe malfunction to her name. The most famous one is probably her Emmys butt exposure, which was so talked-about it even inspired Ellen DeGeneres’ Halloween costume. Her breasts also escaped this New Year’s Eve. So you can see there’s a lot of pressure placed on her wax figures to live up to these famous exposures. And one of them delivered.
Apparently yesterday’s wax figure unveiling at Madame Tussauds in New York City started an hour late because of a “technical issue.” But according to Confidenti@al’s Marianne Garvey, who appeared on VH1′s “The Gossip Table” this morning, it was all due to one of the figures’ dresses bursting open at the seams to reveal wax body parts that should not be seen by the general public. The best part of the story? Sofia herself sewed the dress up. She was probably like, “Don’t worry, I deal with this every other day. Let me just take out my sewing kit and pick the right color. I have a set of 1,000 spools that I carry around with me. You can never be too careful.” Because when you have a body like Sofia Vergara’s, it’s just too much for clothes to handle. The clothes get so hot and bothered they just fall off her body or explode at the seams with excitement.
I know one thing for sure. That wax figure was committed to the role. I think she’ll be getting a callback. The other figure? She’s just not cut out for the wax figure business. Sad but true.