Kris Jenner is on a quest for world domination, and if she has any chance at beating Ryan Seacrest she’s gonna need a talk show. Even a short-lived one. Which is kind of redundant for Kris Jenner, let’s be honest. You might have heard about her talk show plans a while back and had the same reaction Miley Cyrus did to her new song, but out of violent confusion instead of violent excitement. But then you probably quickly forgot about it and resumed your life as normal, with the weekly Keeping Up With the Kardashians viewings and whatnot. Well, prepare yourself, because Kris is back to remind you that her TV show is indeed happening, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t run. You can’t hide. It’s coming for you in the form of these promo videos. So sit back, do the opposite of relax, and probably still enjoy even though you can’t figure out why.
The show, cleverly titled Kris, premieres July 15 on Fox stations. And these promos don’t tell us much about Kris’ interview skills or her hosting skills or her any kind of skills really, unless standing in front of a camera in a tight dress reciting lines almost as badly as the girls on Top Model counts as a skill. And in show business, it apparently does. The first promo is pretty basic. We see closeups of Kris’ face and body (WHO COULD IT BE?) while a narrator talks about how her family is the “talk of the town.” And then Kris recites her line and blows a kiss toward her own name and the kiss becomes a heart because oh brother.
But it’s the second promo that I really enjoyed. Slash it really frustrated me and made no sense. Mostly because she talks about how much fun she has hanging out having conversations with her family, and then she says, “And I thought, that would make for a great talk show!” First of all, I think you might be familiar with a little TV show that already exists that involves Kris Jenner’s family sitting around talking. It’s called every show on E! Also, I sit around and talk with my friends and family too. I bet that would make a great talk show. Call me, TV people. I’m waiting. Lastly, if her and her family talking makes for a good talk show, does that mean the only guests will be her family? Because that’s pretty much what I was expecting anyway.
Ugh who am I kidding, I’m totally gonna watch this.