• Tue, Jun 4 2013

I Hope We Can All Agree That Justin Bieber Looked Ridiculous Last Night

Justin Bieber attending Indiana Pacers vs. Miami Heat Game Seven June 2013Good evening, Justin Bieber! Are you enjoying your time courtside at the Indiana Pacers vs. Miami Heat game? Actually I don’t know why I even bothered to ask, because you’re wearing a classic example of ‘traditional American enjoyment garb’, aka a leather t-shirt, copious chainz, indoor sunglasses, and an absurdly oversized hat. My apologies, Mr. Bieber, sir. When they say ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’, that picture to the left is exactly what they’re talking about, and all thousand of the words are ‘SWAG’. (As an interesting side note, the expression ‘never look a gift horse in the mouth’ is also about Justin Bieber, from that time he tried to admire himself in the reflection off a gift horse’s teeth and got stuck in a conversation about steel-cut oats for forty-five minutes. Brooklyn-based gift-horses are the worst.)

Anyway, I don’t know who taught you how to dress, sir, but I suspect his name was Scooter Braun, because while you are definitely not dressed like a human being in the world, you are one hundred percent dressed like a guy named Scooter. But seriously, where do you even buy a hat like that? Do you have to train it to perch up on your head like that instead of falling down around your ears, or does it already come with that knowledge? And what weather were you anticipating that a tasteful leather tee would have been appropriate? A light April sandstorm mostly targeting your torso? Were you expecting to wear chain mail today? Did you kill a man and decide to wear his skin? I need answers, Justin, or at least for Selena Gomez to be onsite to prevent these sorts of travesties from taking place.

(Image: Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images Sport)

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  • Jill O’Rourke

    What is with the indoor sunglasses? How do these celebrities see anything?

    • Truth

      its to prevent paparrazis and sometimes.. tears. you dont know how tough it is to go out somewhere and have cameras snapping everywhere, even when you’re trying to watch a simple basketball game. like seriously, give this kid a break. and about the way he dresses, thats just the way he dresses. there’s no point in complaining about someone’s style. it’s just the way he expresses himself. you cant really change that. i mean, some people sag their pants out in the streets, you tell them to stop.. like if they even care. so about his fashion, idrc.but glasses, i know its for the photographers because celebs mostly wear it as you can see, you wouldnt want a bunch of flash from cameras at your eyes during a basketball game. :) or maybe its for style.. lol

    • Lies

      Actually the things that prevent tears are called tissues, not sunglasses

    • Rachel

      OR *mind blowing idea, get ready for it*….. he’s wearing them because he thinks he looks cool? Didn’t see Beckham wearing any shades

    • boom

      Indoor glasses to avoid paparazzi is normal. Wearing a completley leather outfit to a BASKETBALL game with a whole bunch of bling? *sigh* That’s absurb and is definitley going to draw attention from paparazzi. Why can’t he just wear a casual t-shirt and some jeans. The hat and sunglasses: whatever. Leather?? Well, thats going to draw attention for sure. I love Justin Bieber, I just think that this choice in clothing for a normal occasion is pretty ridicoulous. Its not like everyone doesn’t already know that he has plenty of money so he doesn’t have to try and wear clothing and bling to show it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001226719800 Suzanne Smith

    I understand that you are dissing Justin for what he was wearing, but your article is so fucked and ridiculous, if you work for this publication, they need to fire you and get someone asap!

    • Jenni

      Unfortunately Alexis does not work for this publication. She’s a rogue blogger who often posts about Justin Bieber on assorted sites. There’s no stopping her!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I’m in the walls!

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  • lisa

    I hope we can all agree that Justin Bieber looks ridiculous just about every day, as does every other skinny white kid who thinks he’s a gangsta rapper. We all look back with more than a little embarrassment at the things we wore when we were young. Bieber will need to rent a freakin u-haul to hold all the embarrassment he’s going to feel when he looks back at these pictures in ten years.

    • DuBois

      So white kids aren’t allowed to dress in a certain way? Or is it just the skinny white kids?

    • tophat1234

      White kids can dress anyway they want obviously. Its just when they dress a certain way they look stupid and geeky. Hence Bieber. White guys can also wear a dress if they want but we all know what people would think.

    • DuBois

      But why is it specifically white kids that look stupid and geeky if they dress a certain way? Are you saying that an identically dressed black kid or Asian kid would not look stupid and geeky? If so, why not?

      Are there ways that white kids can dress that are only proper for white kids to dress?

      “You look fine dressed like that, white kid, but a black kid should NOT dress like that!”

      And (some) white people were wearing gold chains on their chests long before gangsta rappers were around; you could have walked through certain predominantly white neighborhoods in Brooklyn 50 years ago and found white guys with gold chains on their chests.

      As for sunglasses, baseball caps, earrings, tattoos, or leather clothing… I can think of all sorts of people who wear those… none of them are particularly identified with gangsta rappers (Is it the 1990′s? Why are we even using the term “gangsta rapper”?)

  • Lastango

    How to explain this outfit at the playoffs? Try this:

    1. Bieber’s audience is mostly young girls.
    2. The Sunglasses and hat are to blur his appearance; without he looks like an
    androgynous, juvenile weenie.
    3. He’s trying to expand his sales base to include boys and young men. Hence the
    attempt to butch up by going to sports, and wearing a disguise.

    4. He’s only there to be photographed being there.
    5. His outfit looks like it was designed by a committee, because it was — after they
    went over the demographics of the viewing audience.

    It that’s on target, then this is just a start. Look for him to be seen driving a pickup sometime soon. And if he doesn’t have a dog, they’ll get him one.

  • StopHatingLosers

    He wears those glasses, because cameras are always snapping at him.. Oh but wait, I bet u didnt know THE CAMS HAVE FLASH!!, Omggg no way x.x don’t be dicks about the way he dresses, cause its his stuff, his life… Not including these people don’t even have the decency do let him watch a simple game without trying to he asses. V.v that is all.

  • StopHatingLosers

    He wears those glasses, because cameras are always snapping at him.. Oh but wait, I bet u didnt know THE CAMS HAVE FLASH!!, Omggg no way x.x don’t be dicks about the way he dresses, cause its his stuff, his life… Not including these people don’t even have the decency do let him watch a simple game without trying to he asses. V.v that is all.

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