• Mon, Jun 3 - 2:54 pm ET

Penelope Cruz Signs On As Oldest Bond Girl Yet And I Dare You To Say Something

Penelope Cruz attending San Sebastian International Film Festival September 2012Penelope Cruz has just signed on to the as-yet-untitled twenty-fourth James Bond movie, filming next summer, and at age forty, she will officially be the oldest Bond girl yet, taking the honor from the previous champion, Honor Blackman, who was thirty-nine when she filmed the role of Pussy Galore. Aside from the fact that it’s totally ridiculous we’re still calling a forty-year old woman a Bond girl, I think this is totally awesome, and I defy you to think otherwise. For as weirdly misogynistic as the Bond franchise may be (I mean, c’mon, the only character I’ve cited in this post so far was named Pussy Galore), I really respect that they don’t delve into Jennifer Lawrence or Selena Gomez territory when casting their heroines. They stay north of thirty a surprising amount of the time, which is easy to do when you have specimens like Penelope and Halle Berry roaming the globe. It’s really pretty unfair.

“The producers have tried to get Penélope before, but she has never been available because of other commitments. The discussions have been going on for some time and they are working out the contract details now.”

Also I’m sorry, did I forget to mention — Penelope is pregnant right now (with her and Javier Bardem‘s second child!), and due to give birth any day. Let me just ask you — when was the last time you were approached to be a Bond girl at your peak physical condition, let alone nine months pregnant? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Penelope Cruz is a fine mother effer, and I don’t want to hear a word otherwise, okay? Until you look like that or act like that or exude raw, animal sensuality like that at forty or any age, I humbly invite you to keep your mouth shut and enjoy the specter that shall grace your screen.

P.S. I’m sure they have something great for Penelope already picked out, but I have the best Bond girl name ever for when I’m nine months pregnant and get approached by the producers — Kitty Wonderland. Is that not the best thing ever? Don’t answer that. I already know it is.

(Image: Eric Catarina / Allpix Press / WENN.com)

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  • Jill O’Rourke

    I like Penelope, even though she accepts coffee from that man who is so not Javier Bardem in that Nespresso commercial.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I know! It’s like bitch, we know who you live with!