• Thu, May 30 2013

Jessica Simpson Still Thinks Marriage Is A Race Against Pregnancy

Jessica Simpson Eric Johnson and Maxwell May 2013

Hey guys, did you know Jessica Simpson is still pregnant? I could probably just stop the post right there, because that’s news in itself. Did nine months suddenly start to feel a lot longer than it used to or do celebrities just have extremely long gestation periods? Shouldn’t all these babies be borned already? What’s taking so long? I might be confused because I’m not totally convinced she ever stopped being pregnant in the first place. Anyway, that’s not what I came here to tell you. I came here to tell you that Jessica is planning to finally marry Eric Johnson, the father of her children, soon after her baby boy (I remember it’s a boy because she talked about wieners and I was scarred for life) is born. It’s been over two years since Eric proposed, but those darned pregnancies kept getting in the way of their nuptials.

When I first read the headline to this Us Weekly story, I thought jokingly, “I guess she wants to hurry up before she gets pregnant again, since she can’t seem to control it.” But then I saw that Jessica basically said the same thing as me. And based on the knowledge (or lack thereof) she’s displayed about how pregnancy (or its prevention) works, I suspect she might be dead serious.

During her April 14 baby shower, Simpson “was telling friends she wanted to get married a few months after the baby is born,” the source reveals. Simpson and former NFL pro Johnson, 33, have had to cancel nuptials twice thanks to surprise pregnancy news. Thus, the source reveals, “Jessica said, ‘Let’s have this wedding already before I get pregnant with another one!’”

That’s right. Jessica is still seeing pregnancy as a ticking time bomb looming on the horizon, and she has to hurl herself down the aisle before a baby shows up in her belly and she has to start the whole process all over again. Never mind the fact that, for one, she can still get married when she’s pregnant, if she really wants to. And for two, there are various methods created for the very useful purpose of preventing pregnancy, even though Jessica has admitted that she’s thrown those methods out the window. I’m still not sure if she meant that literally, although I wouldn’t be surprised.

Hurry up and get that ring on your finger, Jessica, or else you might have to wait another 17 months! That’s how long it seems, anyway.

(Photo: Devone Byrd,PacificCoastNews.com)

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