Allegedly Justin Bieber Smoked Pot While Riding A Segway, And No This Title Isn’t A Mad Libs Game

Justin Bieber Drinking Underage 2013Just days after Justin Bieber stood up in front of this country and told us to stop judging him for being anything other than the world’s greatest musical artist, he’s alleged to have cruised around his neighborhood on a segway while smoking pot. With a friend, of course. So yeah, before you start getting your sketch-o-meters out, do keep in mind he wasn’t alone out there segwayin’ and smokin’. It was just one of those days when rolling a joint and taking out the segways felt right. No more than right, it felt natural. Like there wasn’t any other better way to spend a Sunday afternoon. So why even contemplate other options, why even take a moment to think about some possible choices and their potential outcomes? Would you take a moment to debate if you should breathe? No. Smoking weed while riding on a segway with a friend is what breathing is to us normals. 100% necessary.

Weirdly Bieber’s neighbors disagreed with his assessment of acceptable outdoor recreational activities. Other things they’re being totally lame about: his alleged spitting, his alleged partying and his alleged ferrari racing. TMZ reports that they’re getting ready ruin all of Bieber’s hard-earned fun-times.

Neighbors tell us the homeowner’s board is planning on taking action — for starters, they’ve talked to cops who promise they will begin towing vehicles that are left on the street overnight — a frequent occurrence when Bieber or his friends throw parties.

It’s like they don’t understand that they live next door to a musical artist. What’s next? They’re going to ask him to stop walking down the street with one hand down his pants and one hand lifting up his shirt to show off his abs? Is this America or is this a communist country.

Usher’s totally on the same page, because he recently told Ellen DeGeneres that we’ve got to stop judging his little protege so harshly. The kid’s just being a kid. Can you imagine growing up in the spotlight? (To which we all nod in agreement that it must be hard, but simultaneously acknowledge that we still never smoked weed while riding on a segway just days after losing custody of our monkey to Germany and that maybe this isn’t so much normal teenage behavior, but rather the behavior of an entitled and immature 19-year-old who’s surrounded by people who say things like “kids will be kids” because they want to keep profiting off of him for as long as possible.)

All in all, I think Bieber’s off to a great summer start. If this is how he rang in Memorial Day 2K13, I can’t wait to see what he comes up with for the Fourth of July. Perhaps he’ll have a few friends over and do something casual, like run a little meth lab run out of a golf cart or something else — just as chill– along those lines.

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