This may shock you, but it turns out if you slap Beyonce‘s ass during her concert, you’ll be politely asked to leave the venue. Like, immediately. It’s weird, I know — I have a working knowledge of what is and is not appropriate in a public setting, and my understanding was that it’s always okay to slap your hands around willy-nilly on peoples’ parts, provided that you have no possible chance of getting anywhere near them in any other setting. After all, what is a concert if not a private, one-on-one date between two interested parties who want to get to know each other better. By allowing you to buy a ticket to her concert, Beyonce was really implicitly saying, “Please join me as I dance and sing in front of you on a catwalk, and if you like what you see, feel free to put your hands on my body.” At least that’s what this dumb idiot thought, who was in the front row at her concert during ‘Irreplaceable’, and reached up to spank her as she was letting his friend sing ‘to the left, to the left’ into the mic.