I bet you thought the Cannes Film Festival was just an opportunity for film snobs to lament the fact that they couldn’t make it to see Wara No Tate this year. But it’s apparently also an opportunity to auction off a trip to space with Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s right, somebody bid on a trip to outer space on a Virgin Galactic flight, and the mystery celebrity who’s going to accompany the lucky winner was revealed to be Leo. The charity auction was organized by amfAR, and the winning bidder paid 1.2 million euros, or $1.5 million if you’re an uncultured American.
At first I though, ahhh, space! No thank you. I find space infinitely scary (get it?). If you’d like to read more about my space phobia, you can take a look at my thoughts on the terrifying trailer for Gravity. But then I thought, hey, if you’re gonna pay a million bucks to go to space, it might as well be with Leonardo DiCaprio, am I right, ladies? You can hold his hand while you lift off, and unlike that liar Rose, you won’t let go. Plus, he’s played a pilot in two movies (okay, one of them was a fake pilot), so he’d probably be able to drive the shuttle himself. Because planes and space shuttles are totally the same, and you can learn everything you need to know about being a pilot by playing one in a movie, are things I just made up.
But it turns out the winner of this trip didn’t even bid on it to be with Leo. Vasily Klyukin is a Russian man who lives in Monaco and has always wanted to go to space:
“I want to be a bit daring,” Klyukin, who works in real estate, told Reuters. “I will have to give up smoking now for sure!”
I was initially like, well, that’s not fair to all the people who wanted the opportunity to explore the final frontier with their favorite actor Leonardo DiCaprio. But then I realized, no, this is the best way to do it. Because you know it would just end up being some teen millionaire who wants a cool story to tell her friends, and she’d be totally unappreciative of the whole space aspect and just spend the whole trip asking Leo to reenact the scene in Marvin’s Room where he dares to eat a potato chip against Meryl Streep’s orders. Okay, so maybe that’s just a highlight of Leo’s career in my mind.
And did I mention the two of them will train together for three days in New Mexico? I demand a fun montage.
(Photo: DLM Press, PacificCoastNews.com)