Jesse Eisenberg, also known as The World’s Most Awkward Movie Star, went on CONAN to promote his new film Now You See Me, which is about 3 magicians who moonlight as bank robbers (or maybe the other way around). One of the stories that he tells Conan probably made his mother well up with tears full of pride and whatever else tears are made of when she heard it. Apparently, there were a bunch of movie extras as well as normal people (let’s call them “real life extras”) in a big crowd that was being included in one of Jesse’s scenes. In that crowd stood a bold young girl —who had obviously wandered in from shooting a spring break episode of Girls Gone Wild-– destined to rid the world of virtue by strategically lifting her shirt each time that the camera started rolling. You can see how this could be distracting to any young actor who is just trying to get his Bourbon Street heist on, I’m sure.
So, like any normal 29 year-old male, Jesse immediately thought of what her parents would think if they were to happen upon this movie and see their precious baby girl and her baby girls on film. And this, of course, made him freak out because the girl was so naked and film is so permanent. Now he knows that she was hired as a professional boob-flasher but I suspect that he kind of still wants to call up her parents and apologize for their daughter’s life choices.
If someone were to task me with describing the essence of Jesse Eisenberg in 60 seconds I would refer them to the 3-minute mark of this video because this is as good as it’s ever going to get. He wasn’t baffled by why there was a woman flashing him while he was shooting a movie. This is partly understandable because, if every reality show ever is any indication, people go all the way to New Orleans just to get blackout drunk at Mardi Gras. The best part, though, is that he managed to think about her morals while simultaneously shooting a movie and getting flashed. Way to multi-task! But he’s got his priorities in order because while boobs are a big deal, they are not as big a deal as shaming your parents in a movie that they may or may not see.
This is the kind of thing that makes you want to hug him because it’s pretty adorable but also look at him quizzically because you can’t understand it. But I will say that this video is a better wingman than any one of his friends could be because now the whole world knows that not only is he really concerned about your parents being proud of you, but he also would never try look down your shirt even if he had the chance. If that doesn’t make you weak in the knees, then I don’t know what will.