Don’t believe everything you read, unless it’s a really fun story like Gwyneth Paltrow being a stinky bean, in which case feel free to believe anything and everything you want. According to people at the Met Gala this year — where she dressed up in all pink like a vintage Barbie, totes in keeping with the ‘punk’ theme — Gwyneth may have been easy on the eyes, but she certainly wasn’t easy on the nose. Yeah, you like that? Did you get that? Jokes about the five senses are the best.
“Poor Gwyneth looked picture-perfect, but it must have been the hot lights that caused her to be a little strong on the nose. It was pretty pungent, and I don’t think she had a clue. I saw at least two people wave their hands in front of their noses after passing her.”
HAHA. I hope this is true, because I’m just imagining people on the red carpet theatrically waving their hands in front of their faces as Gwyneth walks by, trailing a cartoonish green stinkcloud. Thankfully GossipCop is on the case, and they say this is all bullhonkery, but I wouldn’t necessarily rule it out. Particularly because we’re talking about someone who notoriously eats nothing delicious and supposedly “refuses to use deodorant with aluminum, opting for more natural — and often less effective — solutions.”
“Gwyneth has heard that aluminum is supposedly carcinogenic, and that putting an aluminum-based deodorant directly on those sensitive armpit glands can increase the chances of breast cancer. Gwyneth tells pals she’d rather be smelly than dead.”
See, yeah. I grew up in a house like that,so I can totally imagine this being true. When I was younger the only deodorant in the house was by Tom’s of Maine, and I think I would’ve gotten a similar scent and maybe even better protection by walking around with a wet leaf in my armpit. Ferngully realness.