• Tue, May 21 2013

This New The Wolverine Trailer Is Very Puzzling To A Non-Nerd

Hugh Jackman as The Wolverine in new movie trailer May 2013I don’t know what to think about the movie The Wolverine, guys. The first trailer I saw led me to believe that it was just a series of climaxes, but now there seem to be actual plot elements in this next one, and I can’t get my head around it. Part of it might be the fact that I elected not to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine so I have absolutely no idea where we are in this story, but I think it’s also confusing. This is nothing like the Hugh Jackman I used to know, who sang about old ships and hosted the Tony Awards. Where’s that guy? This new guy has knives in his hands and he’s super duper angry all the time!

Okay no, I’m not really that dumb, I’ve seen Hugh Jackman as Wolverine before. I definitely saw the first couple X-Men films, but I must’ve missed something crucial, because I don’t understand why Logan is in bed with Jean Grey. Last I heard, she was becoming Phoenix and diving under the water like a sea bird. You guys I think I’ve missed too much. Here’s what I’ve learned from the blurb:

“The film takes Wolverine to modern day Japan. Out of his depth in an unknown world, he will face a host of unexpected and deadly opponents in a life-or-death battle that will leave him forever changed. Vulnerable for the first time and pushed to his physical and emotional limits, he confronts not only lethal samurai steel but also his inner struggle against his own immortality.”

Okay yeah, that all makes sense, but I still don’t understand how Logan is able to fight so impressively even as his skin ‘weakens’ or why that girl who looks like the quiet creepy girl from Pitch Perfect is all of a sudden so good at chain-fighting. Sigh. This film will be released to confuse me in theaters as of July 26th.

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