• Tue, May 21 - 11:10 am ET

Beyonce’s New Single Is Already Stuck In My Head, And I Want It Stuck In Yours Too

Beyonce Grown WomanEven though Beyonce refuses to give us her OB-GYN’s information so we can confirm her pregnancy, she’s still giving us stuff. The stuff just happens to be a new song called “Grown Woman” and not news on her womb’s occupancy status. It gets so awkward when celebrities think they have the right to privacy when it comes to reproduction. Don’t they know that part of making your first billion involves forfeiting that right? Aren’t they paying their lawyers A LOT Of money to read that small print in their “so you wanna be famous” contracts?  It’s weird that so many of them seem to skip over that part.

Almost as weird as Beyonce’s definition of what it means to be a grown woman. Now don’t get me wrong, the song’s extremely catchy and the second you press play you’re giving up YOUR right to not have it stuck in your head for the rest of the day. But let’s talk about the lyrics and what she’s trying to say.

The essence of the song is that she’s a grown woman and she can do what she wants. But much like Hannah Horvath, her understanding of what it means to be a grown woman makes no sense to me.

I’m a grown woman
I can do whatever I want.
I can be bad if I want
I can be grown if I want
I can live fast if I want
I can go slow all night long.

That’s what she wants to do as a grown woman? Okay, it’s her grown womaness. It’s just that, I don’t know, my lyrics would be different.

I’m a grown woman
I can do whatever I want.
I can go to bed at 8 PM on a Tuesday if I want
I can stay in on a Saturday night with nothing but a glass of wine and a Lifetime movie
I can text someone and then pretend like I didn’t mean to when he doesn’t respond by being all like, “sorry wrong person”
I can say no to birthday brunches that I know will just involve me putting in extra money for the people who forget to put in the full amount
I’m a grown woman
I can do whatever I want

But I suppose part of being a grown woman is learning that everyone defines it differently. So on that incredibly deep note, check out the actual song right now. And page me as soon as you hear word on whether Beyonce is really pregnant or not.

What We're Reading:
Share This Post: