• Mon, May 20 2013

Abe’s Mother Is Actually Attempting A Reality TV Star Career On Breaking Amish

Breaking Amish Season 2 Episode 2 Abe's family

I think it’s fair to say that there’s no character on TV right now more complex than Abe’s mother on Breaking Amish. Not only does her reason for being on the show make absolutely no sense, but her acting skills leave much to be desired. Hence why she’ll soon be America’s new favorite reality star! Okay, maybe not soon. And maybe not favorite, but she’s going to be a reality star on this season of Breaking Amish, come hell or high water or SHUNNING. Yeah, I threw in the S-word. But before we dive into the drama, let’s catch up with the gang.

They’re currently in an RV traveling from Pennsylvania to Florida. Despite the fact they all hate Kate, they still pick her up at the train station and let her come for the ride. But not before letting us know she’s like famous now and thinks she’s too good for them. Sabrina even does this whole little monologue along the lines of “Kate’s going to come on here looking like a model, while I’m like totally relaxed and not even wearing any make-up, it’s like stop having a job and being pretty and just I don’t know chill out.” Similar to how Abby Lee Miller pretends that her dancers are famous for their skillz and not their hugely popular reality show, the cast of Breaking Amish also pretends like Kate’s famous for being a model and not for starring on a reality show. What can we conclude from all this? Reality stars on cable networks are just as deluded as Justin Bieber when it comes to their talent level. It’s cute.

While they’re roadtrippin’ their way south, they stop at a variety of historic (and trashy) landmarks and embarrass themselves. While I won’t go into detail on what happened in Washington D.C, I will say that Jeremiah actually said, “I live in a White House too.” Just as a way to let us know that he wasn’t impressed with The President or where he lives or what he does.

And now that we’re all caught up with those horrible people, let’s go back to Abe’s mother who’s still in Pennsylvania…for now. She sadly (or tries to say it sadly) tells the camera that she got in BIG trouble for participating on the first season of Breaking Amish — and that while she got forgiven, she also got told not to speak to Abe or she’ll get shunned. So naturally she not only speaks to Abe, but goes back on the reality show that started the whole mess. Because that makes so much sense.

Then it gets even more redonkulous as she tells us what she plans to do this season. After waxing poetic at how much it would totally womp to be shunned by her entire community, she’s like I’m taking my daughter Katie Ann and going to Florida to find Abe. “I will not lose him!” she tells us as if he’s been kidnapped and not a willing (and paid) participant on a reality show. Katie Ann is all like, sure mom, let’s go “save” Abe, also can I bring my string bikini, I mean bible. To which I add, there’s no saving Abe. Not only do we know EXACTLY where he is at any given moment due to the cameras following him around, but he’s already broken Amish. Did his mother learn NOTHING from the dramatic opening scenes last week.

Here’s the problem with this entire plan, it’s illogical. How would going back on a reality show that got you almost shunned to save your son who is most definitely shunned help with not getting shunned yourself!?  Riddle me that Abe’s mom. And while you’re doing that, also riddle me your name. Now that you’re determined to become a fulltime cast member this season, I should probably call you by your proper name.

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  • Olivia W.

    I’m really just looking forward to the episode where Abe’s mom learns to dress “English” and eat sushi around town like everyone else did. I will be so pissed if that episode doesn’t happen.

    • RN

      I really don’t get this whole thing. Why would Abe’s MOM still dress in her Amish Garb and sit around drinking booze. If the faith doesn’t allow hugging, dressing modern, and other lesser ‘evils’… why would it be ok to booze it up?

  • DENISE

    I FOR ONE AM VERY PROUD OF ABE’S MOM FOR GOING AGAINST THE BISHOP TO GO BE WITH HER SON. YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFTS FROM GOD AND NO ONE EVER HAS THE RIGHT TO TRY TO MAKE YOU SHUN YOUR OWN CHILDREN. WE HAVE A LOVING AND FORGIVING GOD. GOD DIDN’T BLESS YOU WITH CHILDREN TO SHUN THEM.SHE STILL HAS HER FAITH AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT GOD WILL BLESS HER AND HER FAMILY BECAUSE OF HER LOVE FOR HER CHILDREN.SHE DOESN’T NEED THE BISHOP TO TELL HER HOW TO RUN HER LIFE. SHE IS A GROWN WOMAN, SHE KNOWS THAT HER FAMILY IS MORE IMPORTANT BECAUSE THEY ARE A GIFT FROM GOD AND GOD TRUSTS HER TO BE THERE FOR HER CHILDREN AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING.SHE IS RIGHT. THE BISHOP IS WRONG. SHE WILL ALWAYS PRAY TO GOD FOR STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE AND HE WILL HELP HER THROUGH ALL.STAY STRONG MARY. YOU ARE DOING WHAT IS RIGHT. GOD BLESS YOU.SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO PROVE ANY THING TO ANY ONE ELSE.AND NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO CONDEMN HER OR JUDGE HER.

    • RN

      Denise… Nobody condemns mom for going after her little lamb. The condemnation comes from the inconsistencies between her Amish dress and actions. I love the women. I love the Amish. I detest Rebecca, Jerimiah, Sabrina, and sometimes Abe. I think Kate is sweet but conflicted.

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  • Melanie

    I know it’s all BS drama staged by the producers, but I do like what Abe’s mother represents – choosing your child over religious views that would have you turn away from them.