You guys, before you read this post, I just want to remind you that it’s the year 2013 and we all need to be really open-minded, okay? You might think you’re hip to the cause and down with the sickness and whatever, but just being on board with gay marriage doesn’t cut it anymore. If you want to be truly COOL, you need to be ready to change your mind and your preferences at a moment’s notice. Nobody’s every truly gay or straight anymore, so stop trying to box people into categories, okay?!?
Just take it from Zoe Saldana, who’s dated so many actors that she says she’s “been there, done that, got the T-shirt. They’ve all been male so far (including the glorious Bradley Cooper), but that doesn’t mean she’s ruling out that sweet sweet vadge, okay?!!? (Yes. I know. I immediately regretted my word choice. I apologize.) Here’s what Zoe has to say in her cover story in the June issue of Allure:
“[I might] end up with a woman raising my children. That’s how androgynous I am. If I have something good in front of me, it doesn’t matter if it’s a person or a pair of shoes. I’m not going to test something else. It’s insecure and it’s immature.”
See, this is a woman of the future, you guys. This is a woman who treats human beings like she treats shoes — once she knows she likes something or someone, she puts her foot into it and she keeps it there. She’s not one of those wishy-washy people who tries things out, NO. That’s insecure and immature. Zoe is 115 Pounds Of Grit And Heartache, so she just goes for it and if that means she gets blisters on her toes, then so be it.
“It’s OK to say, ‘This is what I want,’ and go after it. And if it doesn’t happen, it’s OK. Be a reasonable person with yourself.”
Yeah so like, if you raise your kids with a beautiful pair of shoes and things don’t work out, fear not! There are plenty more shoes in the window and fish in the sea and…clams in the sandbar. Did you…did you get it? Clams? Cause of lady parts and stuff? I’ll show myself out.
(Image: Allure Magazine)