Leave it to Lifetime to give us the perfect movie treat on Mother’s Day Eve. You might have been thinking flowers or heartfelt card would be the best Mother’s Day celebration out there. You might have even considered watching Terms of Endearment or Die Hard or some other mom-themed movie to celebrate. (I’ve never seen Die Hard, so I might be wrong about that one.) But nothing says “Happy Mother’s Day” quite like last night’s Lifetime movie Dangerous Intuition, and if you watched it you know why.
Whether you watched it or not, I’m about to tell you all about it, so be warned that there will be spoilers. I just can’t resist discussing this movie’s twists and turns. And also its turns and twists. And then the twists and turns again. So strap yourself in and get ready.
We are introduced to our main mom Kate (Tricia Helfer) when she has a nightmare about a little girl witnessing her mother’s murder at the hands of her father. See, there are already two moms in this movie, so you know I haven’t misled you about the Mother’s Day thing.
We discover that Kate’s ex-husband Dan (David Cubitt) left her for a woman named Laura (Estella Warren), and they’re married now. Kate doesn’t trust Laura, partly because her husband had an affair with her, but also because Kate keeps having premonitions about her daughter Izzy being in danger. Call it a mother’s intuition or call it the effects of washing pills down with alcohol. Whatever you call it, it involves visions of creepy baby dolls and little girls doing their best imitations of the Shining twins.
We discover that Dan cheated on Kate because she worked all the time as an architect (Why are they always architects?), and Laura decidedly does not do that. So it’s a commentary on women’s career choices! Eh, not really.
When Izzy gets home from a trip with Dan and Laura, Kate fears that her daughter loves Laura more, but it turns out even Izzy is a little creeped out by her step-mom. Mostly because Laura got a massage and left Izzy alone to be stared at by a weird guy. So maybe Laura really is bad news! Okay, hold your horses and enjoy the journey.
Kate needs a confidante she can trust, so she tells Dan’s mother all about her premonitions. And just like a trusty confidante would, Dan’s mother relays this information to Dan, leading him to seek a new custody agreement. Luckily Kate is BFFs with her lawyer, so that doesn’t go as horribly as it could have.
But of course the lawyer discovers that Laura isn’t who she says she is, and Dan’s mother discovers that too. She has just enough time to leave Kate a cryptic phone message before being suffocated and left in the pool. Because people always answer their phones when someone just wants to see what’s up, but when there’s vital information involved, it goes to voicemail. And the person calling is inevitably murdered. It’s just the Lifetime way.
Despite the fact that her lawyer warned her not to “do anything stupid,” Kate chooses to confront Laura at the funeral by lightly shoving her. But Laura is like those soccer players who exaggerate their injuries, and she sends herself flying into the side of the car as if Kate were the Incredible Hulk. Of course Dan seeks a restraining order.
Kate’s lawyer uncovers that Laura has been married before, and her husband and stepdaughter died in a car accident. Uh oh. Kate visits the dead husband’s ex-wife, who is convinced Laura killed them. She also shows Kate a picture of her daughter holding the same creepy doll Laura gave Izzy. Which is also the doll Kate has been seeing in her visions. Dun dun duuun.
Obviously the only choice Kate has now is to smuggle her daughter over the border into Canada. But wait… based on the pronunciation of “Sorry” I heard coming out of Kate’s mouth, I’m pretty sure they’re already in Canada. No matter. Kate gets arrested before her plan works anyway.
Here’s where things get really crazy. Dan is mysteriously stabbed and Laura and Izzy go missing. Because Kate just pulled that Canada move, the police suspect her, but Kate knows it’s gotta be Laura’s doing. After inexplicably sneaking past multiple cop cars, she gets into Dan’s house to see the newspaper clippings her mother-in-law discovered. They reveal that the girl Kate has been seeing in her visions is Laura herself! She was the little girl who witnessed her mother’s murder! Because creepy Lifetime ladies always have some kind of trauma in their pasts. Creepy Lifetime men? No, they’re just creeps.
In one of the most suspenseful Lifetime sequences I’ve ever experienced, Kate finds Laura holed up in her scary childhood home. This is where I started getting whiplash from the twists and turns. She discovers that Laura didn’t kill anyone. Say what?! It turns out her dad got out of jail for her mother’s murder and has been stalking her, because he thinks that Laura is Laura’s mom and Izzy is Laura. Are you confused yet? All you need to know is that Laura’s scary, scraggly dad currently has Izzy locked up with him, and Kate has to save her. But not before she knocks the gun out of his hand, only to be picked up by Laura and used to shoot him to death. Kate then uses her super mom skills to break the lock and get Izzy to safety.
I bet that pesky Dan’s okay with joint custody now.
Happy Crazy Mother’s Day, courtesy of Lifetime. If you decide not to watch Die Hard, this movie’s perfect.