Whenever I read a quote from Dina Lohan or Michael Lohan, I’m reminded that Lindsay Lohan never had a chance to grow into a mature adult. Her parents seem to still be struggling with that exact same process and they’re what the scientific community commonly refers to as middle-aged. So how was LiLo — a girl raised in the spotlight — supposed to know how to make it happen? I think looking back, Herbie the Love Bug was her best role model, and he, as you may recall, is a talking car.
In today’s news, Michael Lohan’s making grandiose gestures in regards to Lindsay’s rehab allegedly requesting that both parents come in for a little family therapy. And of course he’s making these gestures via RadarOnline.com, a site that you may be aware is in no way related or linked to the rehab center where his daughter’s currently residing. But remember, he’s only speaking to tabloids about Linds because he cares about her. I hope you didn’t miss that day in parenting class where they spoke about that. It was the same day they covered the unit on “how to make your child’s serious health issues all about your brand.”
“I’ll be there for anything she needs,” Michael said. “I will gladly attend, like I’ve always wanted to. It’s the only thing that will give Lindsay resolve and a chance to finally have her life and both parents back in her life. This is about Lindsay, not Dina or me. Our family needs healing and that’s the only way Lindsay is going to beat this.”
While it’s totally sweet that Michael’s willing to put his problems with his ex-wife aside, trying to stealthily come off as the bigger person via the Internet probably isn’t the best way to go about that. Especially since Dina tells Radar, “Where did you hear that from? News to me! I have a warrant for child support against him… he owes thousands in back child support.”
So yeaahhhhh, the odds are pretty low that either of these parents will put their own ish aside long enough to help their daughter. But it’s really cute to see them pretend to care. Maybe one day they can metaphorically shut down the vineyard in Napa, symbolically close the wedding dress design shop and meet in the middle. The middle, of course, being their daughter’s rehab center because she desperately needs some kind of adult in her life.