Tom Cruise just signed on for the fifth Mission Impossible movie, which is great and everything, because I totally don’t hate that franchise, but it does kind of make me worry about the agencies involved in those missions, y’know? For one thing, it makes me question my judgement. Because like, if they really think these missions are impossible, then why do they keep assigning them to Ethan Hunt. It’s like they really don’t want him to succeed, and that can’t be good for his self-esteem, I wouldn’t think. Like are they trying to kill him? He just made them so much money with his most recent mission, Ghost Protocol, which was also allegedly impossible, and now they’re sending him out on a brand new one? If it’s not criminal negligence, it’s at least the regular kind.
Also what are they thinking naming them all the same thing? I mean I get that Ethan’s mind is sharp like a tack, but the only difference between these assignments is a number. What if in the course of duty he starts doing the mission from four instead of five and ends up shooting a lot of ghosts or something instead of…whatever he’s supposed to do in the fifth one? That would be terrible! (Also, he definitely shoots ghosts in the fourth one, right? I never saw it because I was too busy sitting home and worrying about his safety. Someone has to.
But if you can get over all your old-lady fears for Tom Cruise / Ethan Hunt’s safety, then you will probably enjoy this fifth segment of the franchise. They still need to hire a writer and a director, but I have faith that whoever they get will make it DEFINITELY IMPOSSIBLE THIS TIME. Don’t let me down, Paramount.
(Image: Andres Otero / WENN.com)