• Tue, May 7 2013

Let’s Analyze Madonna’s Attempt At A Met Gala Costume Last Night

Madonna attending Met Gala costume ball May 2013Oh Madonna. What on earth am I going to do with you, you old bat? You continue to befuddle me with your choices — whether fashion or life or romantic or just about anything. Color me baffled. As you may know, the Met Gala was last night (Kim Kardashian knows, because she went disguised as a sofa), and its them was PUNK: Chaos to Couture. Now, if there’s one person you would think might have a handle on the punk scene, it’s Madonna, right? She lived in the Village in the 1980s and kind of made that scene her own. She knows what punk is, and she also knows what couture is. She’s been in the world for more than five minutes, is basically what I’m saying, considering she’s been on the planet for, what? Eighty years now? Ninety?

But that picture above is not a joke. That is precisely how Madonna showed up TO A COSTUME BALL. AT THE MET. That’s a museum, in case we’re still struggling with concepts. Now this is a lot for me, so I’m gonna take this outfit piece by piece.

  1. That’s a wig. Why? Who knows.
  2. I’m confident I could find every element of this ensemble at a Hot Topic. More than confident.
  3. HI HELLO WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS.
  4. Mesh top. We’ve talked about this before.
  5. Bright pink shoes, bright red carpet. Girl.
  6. You’re wearing two? three? layers of pantyhose?
  7. …and pooping out a cross?
  8. …and you vajazzled your whole blazer situation with studs?

Guys I’ll admit that I’m not the biggest fan of Madonna, but isn’t this just like…begging for criticism? SHE’S NOT WEARING PANTS AT THE MET GALA. If you look in other pictures, her ass is hanging out. We couldn’t even go full opaque on the bum part of those pantyhose? Alright. And later on, she takes off the jacket and just wears a fishnet sausage casing. AT THE MET GALA. Madonna sausage. You’re anyone’s too old for this shit.

(Image: Rob Rich / WENN.com)

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  • http://twitter.com/KathrynDyan Katy Hearne

    I have so many words for this outfit, but none of them are coming out as coherent sentences. Like, she has ruined the motor skills needed to make an honest critique.

    What I will say is that I think there could have been better ways for her to use her punk style experience in a more…. less… whatever this is way.
    Like, when I was 17 I was really into “punk”. I mean, I wore fishnets fucking everyhwere & had that exact hair cut & I’m still pretty sure if I would have seen some chick in that outfit at a show circa 2002 I would of even then been like “somebody’s trying too hard”.
    She shouldn’t have to try so hard, is what I’m saying.
    & now I realized that I’ve talked too much about this. What I’m trying to say is that Madonna has missed that the devil is in the details. Not all up in yo face.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Right? It’s too much! It’s a costume a teenager would wear. And whether she accepts it or not, Madonna is no teenager.

  • Pixie

    If she’d ditched the fishnet top, chain and hideous shoes (seriously, why?).. Actually just lose all the accessories (except the wig, I’m cool with wigs), and put on a poofy black mid length circle skirt and some non-ugly shoes, I’d love this outfit. So basically, keep that jacket, that’s it.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Maybe lose a few studs, too? Or am I pushing it?

  • Mierzwiak

    The “Queen” became parody of herself. That’s sad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=544309828 Luis Aanndd

    Wow you people dont know shit about what the “punk” look is. She nailed it in a couture garment by Givenchy, so yeah take that bitter bitches.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I just wish she’d remembered her pants.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Iza-Koeltringer/100002555079482 Iza Koeltringer

    I’m just loving the FU attitude that says “like it or not, i’m 54, i
    don’t give a F about what you ageist asses think, I feel sexy with my
    hot body and I’m gonna show it”… R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

  • Fchan

    This to me is the brilliance of Madonna…… It’s safe to say that even when she was just a little older than beyonce was ( who is now 30 btw), the media had begun to call her old- as if it had some power to bring her down or ruin her

    Decades later- her punk roots of defiance is still planted under all that immense fame and worship by millions who made and continue to make her the top touring artist lol

    People don’t u see that there could’ve been NO outfit that she could’ve worn to this event that would have been forgiven or not ridiculed by any journalist or media????

    But- the FU spirit and courage to strut that intimidating red carpet and still have the reaction and headlines that this outfit/woman had the other night???

    That’s the very essence of Punk!!!!!

    so for all the negatives and haters- those criticisms show more about your fears and inside the box thinking than Madonna’s fearlessness

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