So Jessica Alba had what we’re I guess comfortable calling a nip slip the other day, as long as ‘nip slip’ is an appropriate term for OH HELLO OLD GIRL, YOUR ENTIRE BREAST IS EXPOSED! Tally-ho! (Oh sorry guys, I forgot to mention — I get super old-timey and British whenever I talk about wardrobe malfunctions. It’s just my way.) Anyway, let me set the scene for you: Jessica spent last night being one of the only celebrities to get even close to understanding the theme for last night’s Met Gala, which was PUNK: Chaos to Couture. She may not have looked the punkest of all the punks, but you have to wake up pretty early to catch Jessica Alba looking anything but immaculate, so she’s holding it together for the home team.
BUT THEN. Mere hours later, she was spotted out and about in the world just nip-slippin’ around like nobody’s business. Except…would we…call that a nip slip? I can see her whole boobage area. Ooh, boobage — like cabbage! Boobage Patch Dolls. But anyway, I just needed everyone to have access to a picture which proves that for a brief moment today, you had it slightly more together than Jessica Alba. Fully 99.99% of the time I can guarantee you she’s got one up on me (or three or four or ten), but I never hung my whole boob out of my shirt in a see-through black bra today, so I think I get at least a few kudos. I will savor this moment. You just have to quit acting so surprised that she’s got an attractive left breast. This is Jessica Alba we’re talking about — even her wardrobe malfunctions are attractive. BIP BIP BIP CHEERIO LADS.
(Image: Michael Carpenter / WENN.com)