Pink took a break from being awesome at everything to remind everyone that she is but a mere human and sometimes gets sick, too. “No,” you say, “I will not believe it!” Crazy, I know, but bear with me.
Once upon a time, two weeks ago, Pink caught the ROTA virus. She never specified which type of the virus she had but, really, all of the types sound terrible. As someone who used to beg to skip school at the first sign of a sniffle, I applaud Pink for only canceling one of her tour dates. But her fans in Birmingham with their torches and pitchforks probably disagree. After receiving tons of hate mail from said fans, Pink finally figured that she maybe had some ‘splaining to do:
“I am a human being, therefore I am able to catch illness. It is beyond my control — and I can’t apologize for that.”
At some point in the spectrum of how much fans love their celebrity of choice, they go from totally understanding that they’re living and breathing human people to… something else. Harry Styles knows what I’m talking about.
I get that even though Pink is the fixer of all things, she can’t beat nature in its crusade to ruin everything that I love (picnics, flip flops and Pink). Come join me, rabid fans, in this realization. I promise you happiness and joy and never having to write even one hate letter to your favorite celebrity again.
She also mentions how she couldn’t help but feel sad for disappointing her fans and that she cried when she saw them upset after hearing about the cancelation. Isn’t it enough for everyone that Pink has shed sad tears? I didn’t even know someone so wonderfully tough could cry.
She polishes off her letter by inviting all of her bashers to kiss her “entire almost back to healthy a**” in the poetic way that only Pink could.