Before we even dive into everything that happened between Kevin Jonas and Danielle Jonas during last night’s episode of Married to Jonas, let’s all agree that women shouldn’t work outside the home. Ever. Other things they shouldn’t do? Wear pants, have opinions and watch that horrible propaganda film Pleasantville. The last thing women need are ideas floating around all willy-nilly in their head. With the obvious exception of ideas that involve pleasing their husband. Those ideas are totes cool.
Now that we’re all on the same page, let’s discuss Danielle’s decision to get a job last night. And I’m using the word “job” loosely. Cosmopolitan called her up because they would like to feature her in a new cooking column they’re working on. Which makes Danielle’s sister believe that she’s the new Carrie Bradshaw. Even though that reference is about 10 years out of date and it’s one cooking column in a magazine that she may or may not have any control over. But that’s neither here nor there as Danielle thinks about how much this job (otherwise known as one column) could change her life. Also on her mind? That she’s only getting offers like this because she’s married to Kevin Jonas. To me, that’s like a total duh. But I guess to her family, that’s a total huh? They assure her that she’s talented in her own right and if opportunities happen to come up because of Kevin, so be it.
Anyway, she accepts the job (otherwise known as one column) and breaks the news to Kevin that it might interfere with her coming on tour. Rather than congratulate his wife on getting a job (otherwise known as one column), he throws a temper tantrum about how unfair she’s being to him. You see, he planned day trips for them to go on while they’re on tour together — and now he’s going to have to, I don’t know, take crazy-eyed Joe Jonas with him. And no one wants to take crazy-eyed Joe Jonas around town.
Danielle’s all like, “Kevin, I’ll meet up with you when I can meet up with you, but I need to do something outside of this house!”
And Kevin’s like, “umm, you do things, you support me!”
And I’m like, “if I take off my bra, set on fire and throw it at the TV, will Kevin understand what’s going on?”
While I’m debating that, Kevin continues on his rant and is like, “this is our one last big hurrah before we have a baby this year, you still want a baby this year don’t you? DON’T YOU??” Danielle pauses because she’s thinking of her job (otherwise known as one column) and what it will mean for her to be a working mother, and Kevin literally goes off in a tizzy. As if it’s ridiculous that his 23-year-old wife might not want to start popping kids out yet.
Then the show ends with their entire marriage hanging in the balance. LOL. I’m sure Danielle realizes that her job (otherwise known as one column) will not interfere with her going on tour with Kevin — and Kevin will realize that it’s 2013 and it’s okay for a woman to work on something besides supporting him. Like maybe Danielle could answer his fan tweets or hold Joe’s leash when his handlers take a lunch break or clip his toenails or something else just as stimulating.