I hope Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham has a big family with a whole bunch of ‘F’ names, because she is teetering on the brink of being the new Kim Kardashian. As you may have heard, if you care about the minutiae of the world of reality television, like I do, Farrah has a sex tape coming out real soon, with which she hopes to cement her status as a bonafide celebrity. I know what you’re thinking: “Silly old Alexis, lots of celebrities have sex tapes, not just Kim Kardashian! Why would you say these two are similar in any way?!” WELL I’M GLAD YOU ASKED.
For one thing, it’s being released by the same company that released Kim’s tape way back when, which is a definite warning sign that we’re about to be inundated with fourteen reality shows about Farrah, but I’m also struck by how fame hungry she is. For one thing, ‘sex tape’ isn’t even really an appropriate name for what this is — it’s a porn. Girrrrrrl it’s a porn. Even though Farrah is insisting that it was intended as a private, secret tape, it was shot with and by a well-known pornstar, James Deen. There’s nothing grainy or low-quality about the footage (the clock on the TV says it’s 12:30, so it’s pretty much midday, and the light knows it). This was filmed sex, and it was intended to get out. According to a couple different outlets who watched a more explicit video than I was comfortable WATCHING IN MY CUBICLE, she actually squirts at the end. So…there’s that. Here’s the official blurb about it, from Vivid:
From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!
Yeah see that doesn’t sound like an accidental release (pun absolutely intended) to me at all. It has a name, and it sounds like she’s both releasing and profiting off it herself. I’m not comfortable putting the clip on here because it’s so explicit, but you can watch it here, or an click here for an even more explicit version that I didn’t watch, or just trust me when I tell you that it starts with a blowie, goes to super close-up sexytime, and then moves into the ‘backdoor’ action that gives the tape its name. I’m not traditionally a prude, but I watched this with my hands over my face from the moment she prompted a PROFESSIONAL PORN STAR to say, “The first thing we’re gonna do is anal? So you’re just gonna come back up here and I’m gonna put it in your butt?” Five minutes has never seemed so long.
(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)