• Sun, May 5 2013

I Really Hope Simon Cowell Didn’t Tell Demi Lovato She Needs To Lose 20 Pounds To Keep Her Job

 The X Factor 2012 Final Four Party at Rodeo Drive in Beverly HillsNot that Simon Cowell gives a rabbit turd what anyone thinks about him or his actions, but I really really really hope he didn’t tell Demi Lovato that she needs to lose weight to keep her job on The X Factor.  Mostly because it’s despicable, but also because I’ve always felt a sort of kinship with Simon, tiny t-shirts, and Brit wit and this goes way beyond the already barely existent line I’ve drawn for myself in terms of propriety.

In case your memory is a little foggy, Simon old boy, let me remind you: Demi checked herself into rehab less than three years ago to seek treatment for cutting and bulimia and probably a few other things.  Has anyone ever asked you to wear man-pasties underneath your child’s size M v-necks?  Because I don’t even need to see my own nipples as often as I see yours.

Okay, I’m getting a little out of control here.  This story originated in Star magazine, after all.  Also, it seems like Demi and Simon have a fun/barely creepy friendship even though I’ve only watched about 10 minutes total of The X Factor because I have a serious talent competition reality show commitment phobia.  So maybe these claims are untrue.  Also, if Demi Lovato can handle interactions with Simon Cowell and Gwyneth Paltrow, she’s got to be a pretty strong and stable woman.

But let this serve as a warning, Simon.  If you really want Demi to lose weight, I hope you also don’t have a problem with thousands of women lining up to junk punch some sense into you.

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