There are many mysteries in our great and vast universe. But right now the only that matters is why Kanye West tweeted out June 18th. Not only did he tweet that out with no explanation, but he also chose that as his first tweet.
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) May 2, 2013
This was my first tweet.
ugh. now I have to maintain a twitter on top of my facebook, match.com, eharmony AND jdate profiles?? When will I have time for Myspace?
— Jenni Maier (@mayorjenni) September 11, 2009
As you can see, mine told a complete story. I believe if you look closely enough you can easily identify the beginning, the middle, the climax, the denouement and even the cliffhanger. Such is not the case with Kanye. No, rather than tell a story that can easily be sold to CBS as a half-hour comedy starring someone from the cast of Everyone Loves Raymond, his simply teases us. It doesn’t just leave room for a sequel, but also a prequel.
But rather than wait around for either of those ‘quels to come, I thought we could spend a little time today talking about the many plausible reasons Kanye West tweeted out June 18th.
1. He has a dentist appointment on June 18th and doesn’t want to forget. Mostly because he’s running out of floss and he hates the idea of paying for it when he’ll get it for free.
2a. Kim Kardashian will induce labor on June 17th, People will arrive at their home on June 18th for the photoshoot.
3. He wants to wish the Olsen twins happy birthday, but 5 days late so they don’t get cocky. This is just a reminder for him.
4. He spoke to the Mayans during a recent seance. It’s the new and improved date that the world will end.
5. It’s the day that a One Direction fan will die of a heart attack due to excitement over the One Direction concert on June 18th.
6. He’s just testing out Twitter. That is the first thing that came to his mind. Just a random date.
7. Justin Timberlake will release part 1.5 of his new album.
8. That’s his deadline for deciding on what to wear for his Labor Day party. Once he picks out his outfit, it will be altered and freeze-dried until he’s ready to wear it.
9. It’s a typo. He meant to tweet, “Kris Jenner stole my soul. Someone. Please help.”
(Photo: Felipe Ramales, PacificCoastNews.com)