• Wed, May 1 2013

Jennifer Aniston Postpones Wedding To Justin Theroux, Likely Until After Brangelina Dies

Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston Walking Together

Poor Jennifer Aniston! She just can’t catch a break when it comes finding happiness. First Angelina Jolie crept into her home late one night in 2005, kidnapped Brad Pitt, allegedly stole her fertility and made Brad father approximately 12 children with her. Then to add insult to injury, Brad and Ang legally changed both their names to Brangelina at some point between 2005 and 2007. And finally, they decided to get married the very same year that Jen decided to marry Justin Theroux. Just when Jennifer Aniston could grasp happiness with her finger tips (if she stood on her tippy toes), Brangelina took it away from her. Just stole her thunder right out from under her.

According to Us Weeklythe couple felt forced to delay their wedding so that it didn’t in any way overlap with the expected nuptials of Brangelina.

“She does not want her day associated with them,” one insider tells Us of the A-lister, who divorced the World War Z star in 2005. In fact, upon learning of Pitt’s plans, she initially considered moving her date up and getting married first, but Theroux, 41, changed her mind. “Justin got weirded out by all the rushing,” the source says. There’s certainly no rush now. According to the insider, Aniston has put wedding planning completely on hold. “Nothing has happened on that front in a month,” the source tells Us.”

And while this potentially means Jen and Just could wed in the fall, it also potentially means that Brangelina will just keep having major life moments in order to thrwart her attempts to become Mrs. Theroux. It starts with a wedding, then goes into a delayed Autumn-themed honeymoon, followed by a pregnancy and an adoption and another pregnancy and the adoption of a pregnant teen who gives birth to triplets. All of which get cast in a new Disney channel TV show about identical triplets who go to school during the day and work as musical hitmen at night. Even after they die it seems hopeless. I’m sure their children will be carefully instructed to get married every time Jennifer Aniston gets spotted smiling outside. It’s all really very sad. For Jen, poor, poor, lonely, childless Jen.

(Photo: DLM Press, PacificCoastNews.com)

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  • Jill O’Rourke

    I’m totally Team Jen, but maybe this is karma for Rachel stealing Monica’s thunder.

  • Most beautiful, Angelina

    Grow up! Is this article an attempt at sarcastic humor…Angelina did not steal Brad and Brad is not a child or an animal. He was an adult who made a decision to move on. As for Jen’s well calculated wedding to Justin, Brad & Angelina planned their nuptials long before Maniston jumped on THEIR bandwagaon trying to steal Brangelina’s thunder. Except as usual for Jennifer, it backfired! Jen can go cry to her friend that mean ugly lady Chelsea Handler we don’t want to hear it! Yes – Team Brangelina, Team Angelina!!

    • Jenni

      Stay still right where you are and let me call for help. I’ve been stuck in 2005 before and I know it can be horribly scary!

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      LOL! You put all the rest to shame jenni.

  • MCR

    Hilarious. I now get all my U.S. political news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and all my celebrity gossip from you.

    • Jenni

      That might be one of the best compliments we’ve ever gotten. So thank you!

  • Amberlee

    hahaha. this is a great review

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