• Wed, May 1 - 10:30 am ET

A Real Housewives Guide To Selling Ridiculous Stuff With Your Name On It

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As the sage Ramona Singer once said, “I love making my own money. I find it an aphrodisiac.” Whatever the grammatical accuracy of this statement may be, it enables us to hone in on an indelible truth of the Housewife persona. The dames of the Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise love themselves the ability to make their own money. From wine to fur merkins to vibrators to toaster ovens, the cast members of this show have given birth to a litter of spin-off products — some that make us laugh, some that make us shake our heads and others that make us want to drunk shop.

So it goes without saying, these ladies aren’t just thugs in cocktail dresses. They’re products. When launching your Housewife product, there are many ways to sell yourself. You need to identify who you are and who you appeal to. You need to find out what makes you special. And none of this can be done without money, of course, because we don’t want another housewife going bankrupt. For the inquiring minds who want to know, we’ve put together a friendly guide how do you start your own housewife-branded product. In other words, It’s turtle time.

Develop a fiscal cushion:

While some of the women have this built in from successful husbands or financial backers, Bravo pays more than enough to give these women enough recreational money to pour into their own pet projects. According to this article on All Things Real Housewives, the paychecks pulled in by the Housewives range from around 100,000-1 million a season. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills women make about 100,000- 250,000 dollars per round, as compared to the salaries of the Atlanta housewives who are paid 450,000-1 million for 13 episodes. And reunions are an additional lump sum on top of that. So not only do you have a vehicle to plug the bejesus out of your product on national TV, you can use the capital you’re earning from this project to fund your dream endeavor. Additionally, many of the ladies charge appearance fees. This article on New York Magazine estimates that cast member visits can run up to $10,000 dollars for just one cameo. I.E., someone like Vicki Gunvalson can make around 20% of the median American household annual income in just one hour.

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  • Lia Beck

    There are so many more Housewives products that I ever thought. I knew about the toaster ovens and Kandi’s sex toys, but I was unaware that West Coast housewives were doing so much too (I’m an Atlanta lady, myself).

    PS. That Kim Zolciak wine commercial is amazing. Why does the voiceover sound like a GPS robot?

    • helen

      Right? Or the lady version of the “anonymous” voice