• Tue, Apr 30 2013

Merida Becomes Disney’s First Single Princess, Proving That Even Spinsters Can Sell Merchandise

merida Brave shooting arrow

I almost got pregnant and gave birth to a daughter after seeing Brave in theaters last year because I was so excited to see an animated film about a heroine who was more about gaining her independence than waiting around like some kind of lame damsel in distress. I seriously left the theater regretting the fact that I had no daughter to discuss the many lessons of the movies with after seeing it. How refreshing to see a movie for children that’s about growing up and not giving it up. “It” being a euphemism for oh so many things.  Then I ate a whole pack of my birth control because one time I heard Oprah talk about The Secret and I didn’t want to take any chances.

Today, several months after Brave premiered in theaters, Disney made the exciting announcement that Merida would become the 11th Disney princess on May 11th. Which is great for the self-esteem of girls with unruly hair everywhere! Also for single ladies who are looking to be named a princess without having to pay for an expensive HeirAndASpareDating.com membership. According to a website that I can only assume is run by Kate Middleton, she will be joined at the ceremony by the other 10 princesses — and I suppose their plus ones. You know Prince Charming would miss an opportunity to get some camera time.

While this movie got lackluster reviews from he-man-women-haters (and one slightly weird review from someone who confused being single with being a lesbian), this news is all kinds of exciting because it reminds little girls that their happy ending doesn’t always have to end with a prince. Sure it’s okay if it does, but it’s not important to your happiness to end your teen years as a married lady. Even if the guy in question was kind enough to trade your father’s captivity for your eternal freedom. Or marry you despite never hearing your voice. Or kiss you while you attempted to recover from a coma.

May we all remember the lessons of Merida the next time we see a high school frenemy get engaged on Facebook.

(Image: NY Times)

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