I’ve been trying to savor every precious Gwyneth Paltrow moment we get before her movie Iron Man 3 comes out and she disappears into her messy clothes so that even her husband can’t recognize her and we don’t see her again until her next cookbook It’s Really All Good This Time, No Really, I Promise It’s All Good comes out. And lucky for us, Gwyneth is really not disappointing with all these appearances. I mean, she got raunchy on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, of all places, so you can imagine how raunchy her appearance on Chelsea Lately was last night.
To be fair, it’s Chelsea Handler who brings up the raunchy stuff this time, as per usual, but her anecdote reveals Gwyneth’s questionable and kind of illogical relationship advice. Chelsea prefaces the story by saying people think Gwyneth is perfect. She says, “Then I met you and I realized, no you’re not.” Chelsea Handler, telling it like it is. She then says Gwyneth is an “amazing advice giver,” but then she tells a story that makes me think that’s not exactly true.
You have eyes and ears, so you can enjoy the story for yourself below and then we can talk about it, but I will tell you that it involves doing the “opposite” of what logic dictates you should do when you’re mad at your husband from having two Cokes in one week or something. Gwyneth seems even more embarrassed about it than she was about being named World’s Most Beautiful Woman. She’s so embarrassed she worries that her mother will see the show and be scandalized. But come on, Gwyneth. You know Blythe Danner is too busy telling people about osteoporosis to watch your TV appearances.
Now that you’ve watched and recovered, we need to talk about this. First of all, you know that your relationship advice is questionable if Chelsea Handler is offended by it. Second of all, what is the logic behind offering sexual favors as punishment? Isn’t that like the opposite of punishment? I never really understood reverse psychology, but something tells me it probably wouldn’t work in this situation. I mean, wouldn’t her husband just eat nothing but carbs all day to make her angry?
I also think her suggestion that Chelsea see a neurologist is a little extreme. I mean, sometimes you just get in your gardener’s car in the morning and drive off. It’s no big deal. Why else do you have a gardener if you can’t drive their car to work?