K.Stew Didn’t Get Into A Car With Rupert Sanders, But She Also Didn’t Get In A Car With R.Pattz…

Robert Pattinson Coachella April 2013

Remember that time I told you to go home, dig a 6-foot-deep hole in your backyard and bury love in a casket because Kristen Stewart got spotted getting into a car with Rupert Sanders again? Well, my apologies about that slight overreaction. It turns out that it wasn’t Rupert Sanders in that car, but just a valet who looked like him. C’mon, we’ve all made that mistake before. In fact, it’s such a popular mistake that I’m pretty sure there’s a fun iPhone game you can download called Philanderin’ Director or Workin’ Valet. It just shows you different photos and you have to guess which one it is. Just be careful, the answers go straight to Hollywood Life headquarters.

My issue with this entire story isn’t that America wrongly identified a valet as Rupert Sanders, it’s that no one saw Kristen Stewart get in a car with Robert Pattinson either. Yeah, think about that for a second. Sure at first you felt relief after hearing that K.Stew wasn’t cheating on her boyfriend again. But then you felt the cold grasp of logic shaking your shoulders and saying, “but where was Robert? Why wasn’t he the one driving the car?” Or to take this a very necessary step further , why didn’t we spot them in a car together at all this week? Or this month? Or this year? I’m wracking my brain trying to think if my insiders told me anything about them driving around together at all since they’ve started dating, but I got nothing. NOTHING. WHY AREN’T THEY DRIVING IN CARS TOGETHER?

I suppose what I’m trying to get at here is that I’m attempting to find an answer to the question, is Robsten really unbroken? Or are they just being held together with a little bit of Elmer’s glue and a few paper clips. I really don’t know anymore. And I really do care. My happiness is dependent on their happiness as a couple. If they can’t make it in this crazy mixed up world where you can fall in love with a vampire in high school, then who can make it? For all of our sakes, I do hope we see them driving together soon!

(Photo: Dome/Jones, PacificCoastNews.com)

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    • Swedmom

      Where have you been,,really? The whole world could go under,,you don’t even notice! Just another idiot writing and I’m just another stupid reader!

      • Jenni

        Cheer up Swedmom, at least we’re in this idiot/stupid circle together!

    • ukss

      i hope this is a joke…

      • Jenni

        Considering that most people refer to us as the BBC of American celebrity news, know that it’s not.

      • MCR

        Do they? I’m not sure what to make of that as a compliment. It’s kind of like being called the Aristotle of the Nascar circuit.

      • Jenni

        Oh yeah, Obama said that exact quote during his inauguration speech. He whispered it, so you may have missed it. But he said it.

    • taylor

      keep them guessing k stew