The premiere of the new episodes of Arrested Development on Netflix is almost here — May 26th, I can almost smell you — so we’re preparing by taking a peek inside our favorite characters’ television yearbooks, if you will, complete with superlatives, parting quotes, and the messages we wish we could write to them. We’ll be giving you one for each character leading up to the season premiere, starting with Maeby last week. But today seems like as awkward a day as any to honor Michael Cera’s character George Michael Bluth, so we’re totally going for it. If…that’s okay with you.
GEORGE MICHAEL BLUTH
Most Likely To…graduate college still a virgin.
Parting Quote: “What? Yeah, thanks. Fine I guess. Whatever, I don’t care, just stop!”
Clubs/Activities: Mr. Manager at the Bluth Family banana stand, occasional stand-in at the Bluth Company office, one failed run for student council, and sporadic dabbling in Christianity.
Video Yearbook Entry:
Describing his and Ann’s favorite snack. (…her?)
A Few Yearbook Notes To George Michael From His Friends And Loved Ones:
Maeby Fünke wrote, “Marry me!”
Michael Bluth wrote, “What do we always say is the most important thing?”
Lindsay Fünke wrote, “We’re super rich again, Mikey! And I’m going to buy a car. A Volvo!”
Tobias Fünke wrote, “I wouldn’t mind kissing this man between the cheeks!”
Lucille Bluth wrote, “Here’s some money. Go see a Star War.” Love, Gangy
GOB Bluth wrote, “I heard about the A minus.”
And Here’s How We Wish We Could Sign George Michael’s Yearbook:
Dear George Michael,
Chin up, buddy! Stop Charlie Browning around everywhere! Sure, everyday activities are really hard for you now, but we have to believe that one day your crippling anxieties will land you a job at an upstart tech company! Maybe even in France, where liaisons dangereux aren’t so frowned upon, y’know? Just keep being a first-rate Mr. Manager (although you should really stop calling it that), and the business world of the O.C. will reward you. (Stop calling it that, too.) Just keep trying to make it work with that girl you’ve been dating. I can’t remember her name, but she has that egg mouth. Y’know…oh what’s her name. Well anyway, she totally wants to get secular with you, just keep her away from your uncle G.O.B. We believe in you!
Want to see the previous Arrested Development Yearbooks? Come on! Of course you do: MAEBY FUNKE, LINDSAY BLUTH FUNKE, GEORGE BLUTH SR, LUCILLE BLUTH, MICHAEL BLUTH, GOB BLUTH, BUSTER BLUTH and TOBIAS FUNKE.