Last night, The Voice wrapped up the Battle Rounds! I expected this to be the most exciting night with the biggest match-ups, but didn’t you feel like these were all the castoffs? All the winners were predictable and no one really moved me. Monday night was much better.&38;Here are the “highlights”, if you can even call them that.&38;
Shakira surprised me as the most disappointing judge of the night: As a personal fan, Shakira has been so great throughout the season so far, until last night. Her first match up of Brandon Roush and Shawna P. was completely unfair. They sang a Janis Joplin song, which fits perfectly into Shauna’s wheelhouse with no effort, and Brandon didn’t stand a chance. He really warmed my heart in his audition when he discussed how he cares for autistic children. Talent and compassion?? Winning combo! Shakira’s last matchup was Mary Miranda and Cathia. In all fairness, I am more partial to Mary’s voice — but in the rehearsal footage Mary seemed like a spoiled brat who didn’t practice any of the music or expect to have to do any work on it outside of her practices with Shakira. She’s like, “Yeah I’ve just never heard this song.” Listen, if you’re being assigned a song written and originated by your damn judge, you should probably come a little more prepared. Cathia worked MUCH harder on the song and got shafted by Mary’s “charisma” (Shakira’s claim for picking her). God bless Usher, the fairy godfather, who used the last steal to save Cathia. Above are videos of both matchups.
Duncan Kamakana and Sarah Simmons win for most bland match-up of the night: So we didn’t even see Duncan’s blind audition because it was just that enthralling. He and Sarah were matched to sing a Lady Antebellum song and it was obviously made for Sarah so he was in the Brandon Roush department with no chance as well. There really is nothing else to say about it, except after winning Sarah said “I made the BEST decision leaving school to come here!” Um, 1) you’re probably jinxing yourself. 2) even if you win, what singer from The Voice has gotten the same mainstream success from a reality music show win such as Kelly Clarkson or One Direction?
The show skipped over one of my favorite contestants: If you haven’t heard quirky Michelle Chamuel, you are missing out! She was literally the most awkward human being talking to the judges in the most endearing fashion. She’s also a super unique artist. Since the show’s producers were so useless and decided to make us watch Duncan and Sarah instead of her, above is her blind audition.
The knockout rounds next week better be ten times more exciting than tonight was, or else it doesn’t bode well for the rest of this season.