I think Justin Bieber’s New Year’s resolution must have been to get more tattoos. Because he just didn’t have enough. Those big open spaces of skin on his arms were just embarrassing. Thankfully he’s remedying that and has gotten three tattoos so far this year. The latest? A koi carp on his forearm, which fans spotted backstage last week in Copenhagen, Denmark. It’s his twelfth tattoo overall, but I’m betting he’ll want to make it a baker’s dozen soon enough.
There’s already speculation about what the tattoo means. Koi carp are believed to bring good luck, so maybe Justin is hoping to win the lottery. Those are also the type of fish that Lady Gaga bought to keep herself entertained during her recovery from hip surgery. So maybe Justin didn’t want to commit to taking care of live fish and decided the next best thing to entertain himself was putting the fish on his arm. Because celebrities aren’t wired to be entertained by going to the movies or watching late-night reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond. They need to look at fish to occupy themselves.
Justin chose to place that tattoo right next to his existing owl tattoo, which makes no sense because owls live on land and fish live in water, and everyone knows the placement of animal tattoos should properly reflect the placement of animals on the planet, which is why Harry Styles’ butterfly chest tattoo makes zero sense. Butterflies fly! It belongs on his forehead.
But maybe putting the fish out of water was a sign. Is Justin a fish out of water himself? Is he trying to explain to us that he’s a merman? Now that I think about it, it all makes sense. That’s why he’s always taking his shirt off. And he’s always walking around like he’s never used his feet before because he’s still learning how to use them since the sea witch took away his ability to grow facial hair in exchange for being able to stroll along down a — what’s the word again? — street!
What we do know is that the carp doesn’t have abs, so Justin obviously didn’t give himself the tattoo.