Listen, I consider myself a factual, rational person who gives everyone the space to be themselves without judgement. I pride myself on giving people the benefit of the doubt and never jumping to conclusions. But that said — OMG you guys, Zac Efron‘s hand has gotten so totally fat lately. The rest of his bod and face and everything seem fine, so it’s no cause for alarm, but his hand is really packing on the pounds. I don’t know if it’s because it doesn’t get as much exercise now that it’s not starring in High School Musical anymore (which he totally doesn’t regret, by the way), or what, but LOOK at what his chubby little paw looked like on Live With Kelly And Michael today.
Fatty fat hand! Look at that lump of hand! Now, even though clearly the only thing that could cause this is months and months on the hand couch eating hand snacks in front of a hand TV while his other healthy hand goes on the hand elliptical at the hand gym and eats hand kale, Zac is trying to pretend like he has a perfectly logical and medical excuse for the discrepancy, saying:
“I broke it a couple days ago on set, during filming. It was during a stage fight with Dave Franco. I had to go back to work so I couldn’t really wear a cast, so they put like a titanium plate in it and a bunch of screws. I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” he said. “My hand in theory is back to normal, it just looks really gross.”
Yeah Zac, gross. But what’s even grosser is your failure to realize that this is a terrible case of hand obesity. I’m no doctor, but if I had to speculate, I’d say Zac’s got a real case of the hungry hands. (On the off-chance you haven’t heard of it, that’s when your hand is reaching into a box of snacks, presumably to bring some out for your mouth to eat, but gorges its own self too while it’s down there. It’s selfish to the mouth, it’s unhealthy to the hand, and it’s very confusing for me when I’ve only eaten half a box of Goldfish but both halves are gone.) Anyway, best of luck whipping your pudgy digits back into shape — may I suggest (Hand)SoulCycle? I’ve heard great things.
(Image: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com / Twitter)