I Don’t Even Know Where To Start With This Tilda Swinton Cover

Tilda Swinton W Magazine cover May 2013 issue centipedesOh my goodness. Oh my good glory goodness. Rarely do I get such a pure kick of excitement and joy right to my belly as when I first saw Tilda Swinton‘s cover shoot for the May issue of W Magazine. Not because I’m a fashion buff — “oho no, my lads, frankly it’s the opposite”, said the girl wearing a sweater poncho at her desk — but because I love silly things done for silly reasons. I have no doubt that this cover shoot was not done for a silly reason at all, and was in fact designed to be taken entirely seriously, but that life philosophy is no fun at all, so let’s do it my way.

Startinnnnng NOW. Guys! She has centipedes! On her FACE! Where a mustache and eyebrows would be! But her face doesn’t know it, and is instead still making a fashion face, which is amazing. This picture is already so funny to me that when I found it I stopped working, barked out a laugh, and said out loud to no one, “Ohmygod this is — you have to see this. I can’t.” And that was before I read one of the quotes associated with the cover shoot, which goes a little something like this:

“Though they may look as if they were mechanically placed, we waited hours for these centipedes to crawl into their meaningful positions, decking me out with eyebrows and mustaches. ‘Ceci n’est pas une moustache,’ as Magritte might have put it.”

!!! Hours?! Did you say HOURS?!? Oh my god I hope that’s not a joke or an exaggeration, purely so I can continue to imagine a team of stylists trying to gently coax a team of centipedes around Tilda Swinton’s face. I need that to be a real way that someone spent their weekend. I honestly have no control over my emotions right now, I’m so filled with glee. She also has the following to say about beauty:

“Being beautiful was never really something I associated with people I knew – certainly not girls. Boys maybe. Horses, yes, and certainly my great-grandmother Elsie Swinton, whose imperial grandeur was like a watermark.”

HORSES. Beautiful beautiful horses, and her great-grandmother the watermark. You guys I really…I honestly just can’t. Someone else take the rest of my posts for the day, because I need to go take a joy-nap and dream about this visiting alien.

(Image: W Magazine)

Share This Post:
    • Jenni

      I can’t wait to start using a horse as a standard measure of beauty. “You look really nice in that dress, but you’re no horse.”

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        You shouldn’t be nervous to meet my family — just bear in mind my mother’s an imperial watermark, so don’t bring any beverages inside.

      • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

        LOL! Haven’t read this but don’t knock my Tilda!

      • Jenni

        I can’t recommend reading it enough.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      I think she got her hands from the same person who made Demi Lovato’s “Heart Attack” hands.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        He does fine work, whoever he is.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Oh jenni you don’t think Tilda was being ironic about waiting hours for the centipedes?

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Jenni didn’t even write this! NOTICE MEEEEEE!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Jenni didn’t even write this! NOTICE MEEEEEE!

      • MCR

        Clearly she was. That was hilarious!

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Now see I just gave you 200 dollars as jenni made me come over here to read.

    • mse

      Tilda Swinton is legit the most underappreciatedly crazy actor out there. She’s also cooler than most of them. I mean did you hear about how she slept in a glass box in a museum? For art? Gosh, I want her life. The whole package. With horses and centipedes.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        She’s out of her mind in a way that makes me gleeful.

    • Pingback: I Don’t Even Know Where To Start With This Tilda Swinton Cover - Beauty Questions

    • i-Betty

      Lol @ Alexis! I LOVE me some Tilda!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        She’s amazing.

    • Pingback: Katy Perry Burns Wig In Promo For Single 'Roar' On Prism Album

    • Pingback: Weirdest Celebrities Who Don't Act Like Real People