Last week cancellation seemed to be looming on the horizon for The Rachel Zoe Project, but it looks like that’s not the case, for now at least. I for one am extremely relieved. What would I have done without my weekly dose of hat-switching and bangs talk (which, by the way, was here to stay last night)? So let’s keep paying tribute to our majest reality star and talk about the latest episode (Season 5, Episode 7, “A Sister For Sky?”).
I know these episodes were filmed a while ago, but it’s almost like Rachel Zoe saw into the future, heard my desperate requests for more bangs talk, more hats, a higher concentration of catchphrases, and more and more dramatic fashion emergencies. And boy oh boy did time-traveling Rachel deliver this week.
Rodger wants to have another kid, but Rachel thinks her lifestyle is just too hectic to take care of two children. It’s a lot of work juggling all those hats plus a well-dressed baby. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Rachel wears a lot of hats, which she talked about some more this episode. When she goes to New York to appear on Good Morning America, she says she has her “psycho-stylist” hat on. That’s a new one. I imagine it’s the same as her regular stylist hat, except with one of those crazy spinning votexy hypnotist things on the front of it. Rachel further explains this concept by saying, “I wear so many hats, I feel like a big psycho sometimes.” We all do sometimes, Rachel. We all do. She might have just felt like a psycho because she was up at 6 in the morning, which, as she says, is “When animals are up.” Animals and Matt Lauer. I think that’s it.
It’s also hard to hold your child when you’re having a meltdown over a vintage dress your personal Santa Claus brings you. Rachel and Rodger’s friend William comes in with a rack of couture clothes. As Rachel says, “Who does that?!” William does, apparently, and he’s got just the trick to make Rachel speechless. He holds up a maj 1967 sequined dress, but it probably would have been safer if he’d waited until Skyler wasn’t in Rachel’s arms. Everything was fine, but I swear for a split second Rachel turned into the cartoon wolf whose eyes bug out when he sees a hot lady.
This episode Rachel also takes it upon herself to give a reluctant Rodger a makeover. Her defense? “You always say I don’t pay attention to you. I’m paying attention.” By saying he can’t wear a particular shirt because he’ll have man boobs and insisting he buy a jacket he doesn’t like. Hey, she never said what kind of attention. But she’s all over him when he puts on a shawl collar sweater, which means Rodger now has a new technique for making baby #2 happen.
Meanwhile, Rachel has another magazine shoot to worry about, this time for Glamour magazine. And she has to dress the models in stuff she doesn’t know about again. Like ’70s boho chic floppy hats and maxi dresses and … wait…
You know what a photo shoot means! Inner-panic-attack Eileen is back to help Rachel use a laptop touchpad and try to come to terms with the fact that Skyler has the same shoes as her. She also grabs a bunch of clothes for the shoot, but it all rinks being for naught when FogGate occurs. They show up to the shoot site and there is fog everywhere. Rachel says it’s the worst fog she’s ever seen in Los Angeles, but she’s known to exaggerate, so I wouldn’t take her word for it. The fog is so bad, however, that the resident dog refuses to respond to Rachel’s attempts at conversation. This is a real fashion emergency.
While they wait for the fog to clear, it’s time for the bangs talk! Because Rachel refuses to cut her own bangs, she just asks every hair stylist she runs into to give her a trim. Which is convenient if you run into hair stylists ever day.
When the fog finally clears, it’s time for Rachel to obsess about the boho chic vibe, saying, “I just always wish that I lived in the ’70s.” I get what she means here, but Rachel, you were born in 1971. Just thought I’d let you know in case you forgot.
Will Skyler get a baby sister? Will the fog return to terrorize Rachel again? Will that dog ever talk to her? I guess we’ll just have to tune in next week.