Just in case you’re looking for another show to appeal to your schadenfreude now that Girls Season 2 has ended, MTV’s Awkward Season 3 premieres premieres tonight at 10/9c. Hooray for social derpiness! And we’re gonna be there to root for Jenna as her love triangles become quadrilaterals and she OD’s on ibuproufen. Ahhh, glorious adolescence. If I could only do you over, I would document every part of you on an irreverent blog. Oh wait, I guess my Live Journal counts.
But our girl Jenna Hamilton is just as awkward as Clarissa Darling, Lizzie McGuire, Ramona Quimby or any other sardonic yet self-conscious girl that we grew up identifying with. She gets us, we get her, and we like what sister preaches. So in order to get you in the mood to vibe with the uber-awkwardness, we’re counting down the most awkward ways to watch the premiere of Awkward. As Sadie Saxton would say, you’re welcome.
With your boyfriend and his best friend you banged last year
Despite her secret relationship with Matty, Jenna’s relationship with Jake took off in Season 2. But even keeping her tryst with Matty a secret from Jake, the shadow of Jenna’s anonymous first love made him feel super inadequate and was a constant source of jealousy for him. If you have a terribly incestuous group of friends and this situation is total real talk, channel surf on over to MTV for the Awkward premiere with two people who know what this feels like. Your Tuesday night will be super interesting in the most masochistic way possible.
In a supply closet
Matty and Jenna hooked up for the first time in a supply closet at summer camp, and added to the fact that this was Jenna’s first time, things couldn’t have been more awk sauce. If you’re a super fan and want to recreate the scene, you could try to watch the premiere from your linen closet. Or a broom closet. I’m suggesting these because most homes don’t have supply closets. You just may need to wheel your TV into the bathroom or stream from your computer standing up. And then you’ll start to feel like you live on Privet Drive and discover that you speak Parseltongue.
With your drunk aunt
Watching this with your drunk aunt, it’s almost a definite that anything sexual on the show will lead to plenty of unsolicited over-sharing. Expect to learn that you’re an accident or adopted.
With an OKCupid date
OKCupid date = failsafe awkwardness. Especially if you’re watching it at somebody’s house. And in this case, put out the word to friends that if you’re not heard from in 2 hours, a search party should be sent out.
While trying to get rid of a nosebleed
If you were the kind of kid who had chronic nosebleeds in school that lasted for like 45 minutes, congratulations, you were the awkward nosebleed girl. Hey, you can’t help that your sinuses are sensitive! But to make the premiere of Awkward even more awkward, watch it while trying to stop your face from bleeding. Head tilted back, with ice on your face, upside down, whatever trick in the book you’ve heard. Trying to do anything while icing your nose is the epitome of elegance.
This post is sponsored by MTV Awkward.