Anyone who knows anything knows that Coachella was taking place this past weekend — or, in layman’s terms, an excuse for celebrities to swan about a field in California pretending to be poor and dirty — and all the best and the brightest were out in abundance. Given that it’s a ready-made excuse to hold off showering for a full weekend and share clothes with each other, it was only a matter of time before Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson came crawling up out of the dust to show their sparkling vampire skins to the sun for a few hours. Their plan was to carefully coordinate an air of not caring at all while casually draping their limbs across one another in a studied example of public displays of affection. A relaxing weekend for all.
UNTIL. Kristen ran into muhfuckin’ Liberty Ross. Yeahhhhh you remember who that is! She was married to Rupert Sanders, the director with whom Kristen had such a publicized affair last summer. I say was married, because she went ahead and decided to end said marriage when her husband was photographed canoodling with Kristen in front of the Hollywood sign. Supposedly the two of them ended up standing next to each other during the Jurassic 5 set, which is apparently a bad and the hologram of a sequel to the popular dinosaur movies. (I mean, they did Tupac last year, so the sky’s the limit, am I right??) But anyway, Kristen was allegedly very upset, which is shocking, because she always seems so composed in interviews and stuff. I can’t imagine why a run-in with the ex-wife of her affair partner would cause her to act awkward in any way. Actually if I’m being honest, I would’ve really enjoyed watching that interaction, if only because people rarely act more awkwardly than I do, so I enjoy the schadenfreude of that experience. JUST LET ME LIVE.
(Image: STS / WENN.com)