I feel like we don’t as a society pay enough attention to celebrities’ younger siblings. They’re very interesting and oftentimes mysterious, but we can tend to ignore them. I’m dubbing this problem Chad Lowe Syndrome. It plagues pop culture a lot. Take, for instance, Miley Cyrus’ 13-year-old sister Noah Cyrus, who appears in the May 2013 issue of Teen Vogue. The same issue that features Justin Bieber on the cover. The same Justin Bieber whom Noah gushes about in the magazine. The same magazine that she… you get the idea.
The things Noah says about Justin Bieber are just the kind of normal teenage things you say about your favorite pop star while lounging on a horse in your prettiest pink dress in the middle of the afternoon. Things like this:
“When I met Justin Bieber, I could barely speak. I was just going crazy inside,” Noah says. A major fangirl moment ensued: “It was at an awards show in Canada, and after he went and changed for his next set, I kind of stole his clothes. He doesn’t know it yet,” she confesses. “Miley’s stylist dressed him for that event, and they had his stuff, so I took it home! Justin was my first love.”
Well, I think this interview solves a very big mystery. A mystery that has confused millions. A mystery that I’m pretty sure is currently being scripted into a National Treasure-style movie. That mystery is the question of where Justin Bieber’s shirts went. For months he’s been shirtless in airports, he’s been shirtless in concert, he’s been shirtless in the street, he’s been shirtless in the hospital. He’s been shirtless everywhere! And it looks like that’s because Noah Cyrus took his clothes. And he can’t buy a new shirt because he’s saving his money to teach teens about debit cards. But as Noah says, Justin doesn’t know about it yet, so everybody shhh, don’t tell him.
Apparently Noah’s sticky fingers extend to Miley’s closet, but Miley is not okay with it:
“There’s this one Chanel purse in Miley’s closet that I’ve always wanted,” she says. “I go over there all the time and am like, ‘Can I just borrow it?’ and she’s like, ‘No!’ But I try.”
Apparently Miley is not pretty cool with things going missing, which is surprising since her engagement ring goes missing every other day and she says it’s no biggie.
I think this should be a lesson to us not to overlook the little brothers and sisters of the celebrity world. They can help us solve life’s biggest mysteries while creating new mystery surrounding why they’re in a magazine in the first place. Intrigue!
(Photo: Teen Vogue)